Kate Hackett
This story is quite the tale and, I think you’ll agree, it’s way too much to lay on u/fatf-ckitis‘ shoulders.
OP tells a story about his brother’s wedding and wants to know if he was in the wrong for telling him that “his toxic but “love of his life” ex was trying to get in touch with him the night before his wedding”.
OP starts by saying that his brother and this very toxic girl had been together for over ten years. It’s been torturous.
My brother starting dating “Big Shirl” when he was in 6th grade. He’s 25 now to show how long this has been going on. To say that he and Big Shirl were toxic together is an understatement. We have they have well over a decade of torturing the fuck out of each other. To say they have broken up and gotten back together well over 1000 times is another understatement.
The family was exhausted by the tumult: he was so back and forth with her.
My entire family would go through the roller coaster ride with him and we’d always see him date a really nice girl, then Big Shirl would get in touch with promises of porno sex and he’d dump the nice girl and be right back into the Big Shirl’s arms.
The brother finally met a really sweet girl and he went no contact with his toxic ex. They were married on Saturday and she remained blocked on all socials.
It has been about 2 years since their last breakup and he met a girl named Karli who is literally a peach. We all love everything about her. My brother finally went no contact with Big Shirl at the time he met Karli and has had 2 years of relationship bliss. They got married on Saturday. My brother says he blocked Big Shirl on everything and I am inclined to believe him since it’s been 2 years since her stench has darkened our doors.
The bachelor party was low key, but the toxic ex texted the brother and wanted to know if the brother was really getting married.
We had a very low key bachelor party on Friday in that we played poker and smoked cigars. At about 11:30 Big Shirl texted me and asked if the wedding was really taking place. I said yes and to not bother him.
OP confirmed and told her to leave him alone, but she said her heart was breaking.
She said to please let him know her heart was breaking but she’d be his personal bachelor party if he was so inclined.
Later, OP joked about her text and his brother seemed uneasy.
I didn’t say anything to my brother that night but on the way from the ceremony to the reception I made a joke about Big Shirl contacting me and you could see the blood drain from his face. All he said was “thanks.”
The brother evidently called his ex and his current fiancé found him talking to her. They fought.
Well later in the evening Karli caught my brother in the kitchen of the reception place on the phone with Big Shirl. They had a huge fight and while they tried to put on a good face for the rest of the reception…it was cold as ice for the rest of the night.
He and his new wife have been arguing and he’s furious with his brother for telling him this toxic ex got in touch.
My brother came over now and said that I “ruined his life” by telling me that Big Shirl had gottten in touch with me. I guess he and Karli have been fighting non stop since Saturday and there is talk of cancelling the honey moon.
My brother totally blames me and says I should have known better. Was I the asshole for telling him that Big Shirl was trying to get in touch with him?
Reddit came down firmly on his side: “NTA. Karlie deserves better than marrying a guy who is so hung up on his toxic ex that he calls her from the reception hall” wrote one user.
Another person wrote, “NTA. If mentioning someone’s name causes this reaction, he has no business getting married. You are showing Karli who he is early so she can hopefully run.”
