Kate Hackett
You know that look your cat gives you? That like, creepy-staring-I-know-stuff look? Total evidence of being an alien, right? (Well. No. But go with me.)
Redditor u/slayertits recently asked:
“If it was discovered that one animal species had actually been aliens that have been spying on Earth this entire time, what species would you expect it to be?”
Here are some of the best responses.
1. Pigeons
Pigeons. They are everywhere, especially in the cities. They act dumb so nobody catches on to what they are really doing.
2. Cockroaches
Cockroaches. They are everywhere, and next to impossible to kill.
3. Crows
Corvids (Magpies, Blue jays, Ravens, and Crows) all know more than than theyre letting on. Make friends with as many as you can before the Alfred Hitchcock hour.
Once you’ve befriended a few they will let the others know so it will be easier improve relations further. Once you are offered gifts of Shine you have earned salvation!
4. Platypus
The platypus is obviously the result of a transporter malfunction.
5. Ants
Ants, they’re just too advanced for insects.
6. Spiders
That spider just chilling in the corner of your kitchen.
7. Dolphins
So long and thanks for all the fish!
8. Orca
Orca the degree to which they are curious is scary, their uncontested domination of the oceans means they have control of like 50% of the planet we can’t even observe.
Also, I personally reject the idea that increased intelligence leads to some form of an altruistic peace-loving disposition which would explain why Orca uses prey items they decide not to eat as toys to play volleyball with.
9. Wombats
Wombats, and their cube poops.
10. Rabbits
Rabbits, please hear me out on this. My suspicion started when I encountered one walking back from campus about two years back. I made eye contact with one for about a second before it proceeded to stand up on its hind legs and run towards me. What quadruped decides to chase after something much larger while on two fucking legs? I was scared sh-tless. Since that evening, I noticed so much weird behavior. For example, just two weeks ago I had 6 of them sitting on my driveway. Why?! What the f-ck were they up to? I’m telling you, there is something fundamentally wrong with those creatures…
11. Octopus
[Octopi]. They have almost no bones and full nervous control of every suction on every limb.
12. Cats
Cats.
They can go everywhere as soon as you do not watch them, and supposedly have a skeleton but can clearly act like they do not.
They can act cute for mission’s sake, but again they will show their true color when you are not watching, by probing your home for hidden stuff, or hiding stuff. They will also test your favorite stuff with chemical experiment (by peeing on it) and physical assessment with their claws and teeth. If needed they can even fight bears, and win, as shown on another sub.
At that point, would it really be a discovery though ? I thought everyone knew cats were aliens spying on us.
13. Ducks
Ducks 100%. They give off the weirdest vibe.
14. Mosquitos
This is my vote. They’re everywhere, collect blood samples, and serve no unique purpose in the food chain.
15. Flat worms
Flat worms, these guys can regrow their whole body and are only weak to radiation, but they can recover with a transplant.
16. Capybaras
Baby capybaras look like someone went “uhh f-ck we need a baby version. just… make it smaller ig. it’s good enough, they won’t notice a thing.”
17. Jellyfish
This was my instant thought. They’re so damn weird. They don’t have brains or eyes, but they show some kind of awareness of their surroundings. And to eat they just kinda surround a thing and it slowly vanishes. Some are immortal.
F-ckin aliens, man.
