Having a child with your significant other is a huge step forward in any relationship. But, with great power comes great responsibility—and, with having a baby comes a lot of hard decisions to make. First and foremost: naming your baby. Many couples tend to disagree on baby names—maybe the wife wants to name her baby after her dead father, the husband wants to name his baby after his dead grandma, etc. Frankly, naming a baby can be complicated for many couples—but, in particular, one Reddit user is going through a rough time with her husband due to his baby name suggestion and, I don’t necessarily blame her.
The woman who posted the question via a throwaway account to remain anonymous said:
This title might look funny but its an actual problem between me (23F) and my husband (24M). We’ve been dating for a year, been married for 2 years. I got pregnant like 7 months ago so recently we started discussing name for the baby. Ever since we found out its gonna be a girl my husband wants to name it like his exes name. Its not any ex but the one he dated for long period of time and loved the most. In the beginning of our relationship we had may problems because of her but she moved away so the problems went away. He really loved her and he never hid that from me but I thought it was over once she moved away. Now he made it clear that he wants the baby to have that name and I can name the second child. When I asked him why does he want that name so badly he said just because he and his ex didnt work out doesnt mean he doesnt want something to keep reminding him of her. He doesnt understand how much its affecting me and keeps saying its just the hormones. Is he still in love with the ex or its normal that he wants to name OUR child like that.
Essentially, if my husband wanted to name our child after an ex, I’d be a bit weirded out, too. No matter if they were still in touch or not—he was once in love with her and I wouldn’t want my child to be a constant reminder of my husband’s ex. Would it be enough to divorce my husband? Probably not. But, I’d never let my baby be named after his ex, for sure.
Many on Reddit agreed that the husband was being insensitive.
I’m more concerned about his lack of respect for you as his partner, his number one, his wife. You might try relationship counseling but I suspect his disrespect extends beyond the baby naming issue.
And, klleah added:
When your daughter gets older how do you explain that to her? “Oh honey, daddy wanted to name you after an ex girlfriend because even though things didn’t work out with them, that doesn’t mean he didn’t want to be reminded of her every single day.”
I mean really?
That’s why you keep a card or maybe a picture? Like nothing is more creepy than this.
I don’t know if he’s still in love with her and just settled with you, or if he is just really stupid. To blame it on your hormones is a joke.
One Reddit user actually is named after her father’s ex.
I’m a girl who was named after my dad’s lover (mom had no idea) and I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE my name. He just casually told me on one occasion. In general, the name is beautiful but when I think about the reason why was I named like that it makes me puke. So for the love of god don’t ever name your child by your ex partner, it will bring a bitter taste to your child’s mouth (pondering of renaming myself in the future, yes it’s that dreadful for me).
Tell him that you want to name your second child after one of your previous fuck buddies because the sex was so good you just want to be reminded of it even though things didn’t work out.
Like seriously what the fuck is he thinking. I don’t know your husband’s feelings towards his ex but it’s not normal.
Yeah, this would never fly in my household—ever.