Woman Hilariously Offers To Show Up To People’s Funerals For $50 And Actually Cashes In

For many of us, the idea of dying is pretty scary. Not only are we enamored by the idea of “what happens next,” but we’re also worried if anyone will care that we’re gone. Like, how much do you wonder if people will actually show up to your funeral? No? Just me? Okay then. Well, with all of my constant anxiety of being remembered as a good person and actually having people come to mourn me, I can now rest assured knowing I can always pay some great people out there to stand at my funeral to make it look like I was liked and cared for.

26-year-old writer and journalist Dana Schwartz recently shared a brilliant idea on Twitter saying that for $50, she’ll come to your funeral and stand far away, holding a black umbrella and looking shady—so people will think that you have lived a secret life and died a mystery. Honestly…amazing.

She also provided her Venmo account information, you know, in case people actually wanted to cash in and have Schwartz attend their funeral—eventually. She also made some other hefty promises along with her funeral attendance.

And, people actually Venmo’d Schwartz with some requests.

But, the jokes on those who really paid her—because, she said she’ll show up for sure. 

But, people on Twitter had a lot of other requests for Schwartz. Like, this guy who wanted a birthday mystery.

https://twitter.com/milanmmotavar/status/1081451808386662400

And, these wild detailed requests…

https://twitter.com/MattM071/status/1081471826251993088

It’s great to see that everyone on Twitter wants to leave the Earth f*cking with their family and loved ones. I love me some shady folks. Thanks for making me look forward to death, y’all.