Patricia Grisafi
When you get ready for bed, do you just lay there thinking of all the weird stuff you’ve said, or awkward moments you’ve had, or mistakes you’ve made, or basically anything that will prevent you from peacefully falling asleep? Welcome to the club.
Nighttime is one of the best times to ruminate on all the faux pas you have made either during that day—or why stop there, make an inventory of your entire life!
On Reddit, people are sharing the stupid awkward moments that keep them up at night, even if it wasn’t a big deal at the time or nobody even noticed.
Oh, the humanity. Let’s all be kinder to ourselves, okay? It’s tough out there.
1.
“Not really something I said but when I was in second grade I wasn’t feeling well. The teacher was talking & i was taught to wait until someone is done speaking to talk, so i waited and finally I had a chance. I walked up to her desk to ask if I could go to the bathroom & threw up all over her desk. The next day at school she told everyone if we felt sick to just go to the bathroom, don’t ask just go. It’s stuck with me ever since.” — Kaylycat
2.
“Accidentally ran wheelchair-bound friend into a wall. Still cringe about it 7 years later.” — JackyBurnsides
3.
“I was having a lunch date with an old friend from school and her toddler. I was showing the kid something on my phone and he grabbed it. For some reason I said, in a jokey voice, ‘You better not drop that or I’ll stab you!’ As soon as the words left my mouth I was like, what the actual fuck have I just said? I looked at my friend in absolute panic. She just looked at me like I was an idiot. To this day I have absolutely no idea why I threatened to stab a baby, even if it was just a daft joke. I think about it periodically and cringe so hard. It’s a wonder my friend still talks to me…” — Bannybaws
4.
“Accidentally pat my legs and told my friend to come to me. I hadn’t seen them in a while and was only playing with my dog before they came over. Still think about it a lot even though it was at least 2 or 3 years ago.” — Pandacat1551
5.
“I was running late and miraculously found a parking space directly in front of the building. I didn’t have change for the meter, so I pled with the guy running a hotdog stand to break a $5 for me. He refused, I got mad and when I rushed back to my car I stepped half off the curb and rolled into the street. He and several customers started laughing loudly. I responded, sitting in the street, ‘YOU THINK THAT’S FU-K?’ At that point they were just dying, as was I.” — Septopuss7
6.
“My dad gave me $10 to ride my bike to the store for milk. I was nine or so, and I’d done it many times. I grabbed the milk, and at the last second I decided to get myself a candy bar. I panicked because it wasn’t my money and ate the candy bar before going home. Dad asks where the rest of the change is, I lie and say I don’t know. Dad says he’s going back to the store with me to find out. I spill the truth, and he says he would have been fine with the candy, but he wasn’t fine with the lie. I never forgot that shame.” — fendov2018
7.
“It was extremely stupid. I was a kid back then at the airport and I was scheduled to go visit my family. My dad brought me to a restaurant before my flight. While I was there, I saw these Chinese chopsticks that looked really cool. But I was sure my dad wouldn’t buy me them. So for the first time I’ve got mischievous and tried to steal them. As I was doing so, I turn around and see that everyone happened to be staring at me. My dad, the cashier and the cook. Realizing what had happened and me realizing they realized made me cry instantly. I vividly remember my dad telling the cook and cashier that I am usually not like this which made it even worse. Afterwards I found out the chopsticks were free anyway.” — Thoughtitwouldlast
8.
“Yes. I still beat myself up over saying ‘can I give you a hand’ to a pizza delivery guy who was trying to juggle a pizza and open a door. He only had one arm.” — gotobedjessica
9.
“One time I was out shopping and as I was going down an aisle, I saw an older lady struggle to lift something off of a shelf. As I was getting closer I was slowing down trying to decide if it was appropriate to offer some help. I instead didn’t say anything, as she ended up lifting it up before I could, and she noticed me staring at her. I felt terrible about it all day and wondered why I didn’t just offer some help immediately.” — LifeRips2020
10.
“When I was around 11 years old I was at a friends house and their neighbors dog ran away. I followed the dog to a rocky shore and I was calmly trying to grab its collar to bring it back home. Then in a split second the owner finds us and startles me and I accidentally step on the dog’s paw and it screamed. The owner thought I had taken the dog out to the shore and that I hurt it on purpose. That shit still makes my heart hurt.” — BirdAsleep
