Ruin My Week
11.
“Getting my wife’s bra off. Too many damn straps and crap. I muttered ‘rubik’s boob’ and we started laughing so hard we killed the moment.”—sipes216
12.
“The first time he went down on me he had a slight cold and I was super nervous, so he’s going at it, right up in there and my brain decided to ask him ‘how’s your nose?’ He just looked up at me, shook his head, and kept going, thankfully.”—quietsun22
13.
“The first time I tried to kiss a guy, I closed my eyes, went forward with my mouth open, and bit his chin…”—Mononon
14.
“[We were] having sex while standing and I was holding my GF face-to-face, supporting her off the ground with my arms under her legs. (Yeah, you have to have some strength to do this.) So she’s all into this new position, and my arms are getting tired, so I have the idea to walk forward and put her back against the wall. Except It was the patio sliding glass door. In January, which was freezing cold. Bare GF back against a cold piece of glass? Nope. That definitely broke the mood.”—grandroute
15.
“My girlfriend a while ago liked to do the ice cube/cup of tea blow job trick. One night we didn’t have any ice cubes, only a bag of frozen peas. She went down on me with a mouthful and it turns out that peas in the mouth defrost REALLY fast. After about 20 secs she choked and coughed blow job mushy peas all over me and my new sheets.”—Robsonthebeach
16.
Gettin’ hot and heavy with my GF in bed, making out, and getting ready to start the main event. We’re whispering back and forth to each other when I say, ‘I wanna be inside you…’ To which she immediately responded, ‘WHAT?!?….What did you say?’ After a very confusing moment, I realized she thought I said, ‘I want to PEE inside you.’ It kinda killed the mood.”—Dismal-Objective
17.
“A girl invited me over to her house to watch the Wonder Woman movie. While we’re watching it she starts kissing me and teasing me. I said ‘What about the movie?’ She said to come into the bedroom it’ll be better than the movie and while we’re going at it she says, “See, isn’t this better than the movie?’ And before I could catch myself I said, ‘I don’t know I haven’t seen the rest of the movie.'”
18.
“She (who’s very insecure) qu**fs very loud, and leans forward. She looks back at me, lip shaking like she’s going to cry. I’m not grossed out or anything but I do kinda feel bad for her. I seize this opportunity to let out a fart that I’d been holding in, and followed up with ‘It’s okay, I do it too sometimes.’ It was unsuccessful. She just started bawling :(“—TheHairlessGorilla
19.
“My girlfriend and I were in the middle of sexy times and we had been wanting to get more comfortable with dirty talk and after a little bit of back and forth she said, ‘How bad do you want this d-ck… I mean… p-ssy…’ We just laughed it off, but she still gets embarrassed thinking about it to this day.”—ognahtanoj
20.
“So I met this girl at a bar one night. She had very vibrantly red hair. I ended up going home with her, all was well. We exchanged numbers and I left. We meet up again and her hair is bluer than the sky, so I say, ‘Oh sh-t, I like the new hair color.’ She proceeds to tell me they’re wigs—she had destroyed her hair and shaved it off, so, now she wears wigs.
The facepalm is, one night she’s giving me head and I look over and there are two different wigs next to me. I still don’t know what possessed me to do it, but I took the one on her head off and, naturally, put a different one on.”—Straight-Wolverine88
