Masha
We all end up turning into our parents (extreme circumstances aside). It’s an immutable fact of life, I’m sorry to say.
This is a realization I recently came to when I opened the cabinet underneath my kitchen sink and realized I’d been collecting dozens of old glass pickle and salsa jars for the purpose of ??????? Immediately I remembered the same exact scenario growing up in my parents’ house. Same goes for plastic bags and those little pouches jewelry comes in. WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY? Together, me and my parents‘ collections of glass jars and plastic bags could probably fill an entire pickle factory.
This life inevitability was really put on display several days ago when Reddit user itsDaco asked, “What’s the most ‘I’m turning into my parents’ moment for you?” and literally, same on pretty much every count. I HATE LOUD NOISES AND THE NEWS NOW TOO. SMH.
1. The rubber band collection:
As I stared into the mass of various saved rubber bands and twist ties.
2. The gifted win:
My 10 year old nephew let me win a video game cuz he felt bad for me, like I did to my dad 25 years ago on Super Nintendo.
3. The aversion to noise:
When I went from “Oh hey this restaurant has live music, cool!” to “Dammit – look at them setting up a drum kit. It’s going to be too loud. I can’t hear.”
4. The coupon clipping:
I started enjoying looking at grocery ads for discounts and have 3 discount cards.
5. The immediate snooze:
My dad has away worked himself to death. Now he’s retired. When he comes over now as soon as he sits down on a couch he falls asleep within minutes. I’m noticing couches are starting to have the same affect on me.
6. The dirty dishes:
When I would get irrationally pissed off when I would come home at night and see my roommate left a spoon in the sink instead of just washing it real quick.
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 16, 2019
7. And the dirty house:
My SO and I were packing and getting ready to road trip to some family’s house for Thanksgiving. As I was cleaning up the house my SO said something along the lines of, “don’t worry about it, you can clean when we get home.” I replied with, “I do NOT want to come home to a dirty house.” At that point I realized I’m turning into my mother.
8. The grunts:
When I sit down and make a ‘dad noise’ “aaahhhhrgggaaa”
9. The home improvement:
Finding myself excited to go to Lowe’s. As a child I haaaaated being dragged to that store. As an adult and new homeowner I totally get the appeal of buying power tools and gardening supplies to work on various home improvement projects.
10. The repetition:
I repeat stories. Every time I go home to visit, I’ll hear things from my dad that he’s either told me by phone already or stories I’ve heard 100 times. I found that I have also started telling people about stories from my past that I’ve already told them. Convenient that I don’t make up bs, or I’d have to remember all my bs.
11. The taste preferences:
Over the course of college, I went from milk and sugar in my coffee to straight black with an espresso shot. I went from ketchup on a lot of things to simply salt and pepper. The sweet tooth turned into a salty/ savory tooth.
12. The joke too close to home:
I’ve always joked that my dad isn’t really my father and I’m just a clone of my mom; I look like her, laugh like her, same mannerisms etc. Then I got the exact same health issues that she has, at the exact same age they began for her.
13. The identical appearance:
The moment I saw a high school picture of me…. turns out it was my dads high school picture. I’m identical to my father and it’s annoying as can be
14. The dinner regret:
Ate at an expensive restaurant and for a sec considered how much better and cheaper it would have been if I made the meal at home
15. The nesting doll bags:
I tried to get a bag out of my bag bag, only to discover the bag itself was a bag bag….inside of which were more bag bags, all tightly crushed together. I was a little worried this endless matroska bag would never end so I put the bag bag bag bag back in the bag bag bag, back into the bag bag and hid the whole mess under the sink again incase it turns out to be a white hole emitting matter as bags.
16. The lights:
Easy, walking around turning off light switches complaining about waste of electricity.
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 15, 2019
17. The rush-free coffee:
So I’m at IHOP one day, already finished with breakfast, on my second cup of coffee, and the waiter comes with the bill. As I pull out my debit card to pay it, I put my wallet away and think to myself, “Just let me sit here and enjoy my coffee…”
Which is a phrase that my mother has used so many times at breakfast that she could patent it. I’ll admit it does feel nice to just relax and enjoy it instead of rushing out the door as soon as you’re done. Now it’s something I do routinely.
18. The container situation:
I washed out the hummus container to save in case I needed it someday.
19. The large strides:
My dad was a fairly tall guy, i used to hate walking with him when i was about 4/5 because he’d take giant steps and i had to basically jog everywhere while he dragged my hand. My son is now 4 and i caught myself doing that exact thing about 2 months ago. Now i walk slower
20. The stupid responses:
Answering stupid questions with stupid answers.
i.e. Family Member: What should I do with this dirty nappy you just changed? (The nappy bin is next to her)
Me: Put it in the fridge we will eat it later
Edit: A nappy is a diaper.
21. The hobbies:
I went mushroom picking with my friend a couple of months ago. We ended up meeting my dad and grandad also mushroom picking. I’m polish for clarification and mushroom picking is like a national sport here.
EDIT: for you guys wondering I mostly pick kurki, chanterelles
22. The heating bill:
The first time I told my kids to “shut the door, we aren’t heating the outside!”
I finally get why they said it too. It costs money to heat/cool the house!
23. The news:
My 3 year old told me as I turned on the TV “don’t turn on the news Dad.” I 100% remember saying that to my parents.
24. The wakeup call:
I wake up, no alarm, everyday at 4am to get ready for work. Just sit up like clockwork at 4, never thought I would get to this point.
25. The driving habits:
While driving in my car, I will put my arm out to protect the passenger if I suddenly stop…even though they are wearing a seat belt….just like my mom.
As the passenger in the front seat, I will step on the brake, even though there is no pedal. The old fake brake, just like my mom does!
26. And the speech patterns:
I realized i talk exactly like my father. I use the same speech patterns and i don’t get to the point which annoys me as well as anybody listening.
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 15, 2019
27. The child-rearing:
Having children….the shit that I’ve said has totally been sh*t my mom used to say.
As a middle aged male, I am turning into my mother and it terrifies me example “I swear to god if I have to go in your room to clean it, it’s all going into a garbage bag and being donated to kids that will appreciate it!!”
28. The overall aesthetic:
My wife got a picture of me in shorts that didn’t come to my knees, a white tee that I wore under my work shirt, doing dishes, with my headphones in, listening to a podcast. It was a wake-up call I needed.
29. The sock excitement:
When I first thought to myself “Damn I hope I get some new socks for Christmas” That was a dark, dark day.
30. The LOUD NOISES!!!
I heard a loud noise and instantly got pissed off.
