Do you ever look at a man and think to yourself “What could he possibly be thinking about?” Men aren’t always the best at communicating it can lead to us ladies overthinking things—”Is he thinking about another woman? Is he happy right now? Did he hear me fart earlier?!”
It’s not necessarily because we’re nosey (we’d never actually admit that) but more because we can see the wheels are turning and we just want to know what’s going on in there.
Everyone has their secrets but we can’t help but wonder, are there some universal truths all dudes keep to themselves? To be honest, that’s probably a question we don’t need or want the answer to but that’s what makes it so damn intriguing.
Redditor u/lenright7 stepped up to the unnecessary challenge to find these answers by asking: “What are some secrets that men will never tell women?” And the results are exactly what are to be expected. So stupid, they’re funny.
Here’s a collection of the best answers from 17 men of Reddit.
1. We know. Why do you think we wear these pants?
“We check out your ass every time you walk away. I’m not saying all women’s asses, maybe if single but in a relationship we check out our SO ass every time they leave the room.” –Qanaesin
2. I swear to god you better not be talking about the china…
“That thing you told us to be careful with… we broke it but fixed it before you got home.” –SoulWager
3. Yeah, you know what, you can keep that to yourself…
“When I sit there looking like I’m annoyed, I’m just thinking of something stupid that I’d rather not explain it.” –RagePandazXD
4. This is why we can’t have nice things…
“Yes, I definitely used those decorative towels that shall not be used.” –Inottawa
“Every time. I even spend extra time putting them back nice so no one knows. But damn right I’m using them, they’re towels and should be used as such!” –watchingsongsDL
5. Aren’t you supposed to grow out of that?!
“We aren’t always horny and don’t control most of our boners. Most of them are just my d-ck being mean and putting me in a awkward situation.” –kng_hrts
6. You should always just KNOW
“If you ask me to grab [INSERT GENERIC ITEM HERE] and I ask “which one?” I’m not being deliberately obtuse. And when I inevitably bring the wrong one it was 100% due to of lack of definition.
“Bring me a towel please.”
“You know which one”
“I promise I do not.”
“Just bring a towel! I need to clean up this mess!”
runs back in to the room with hand towel from guest bath
“What’s this!? Why would you bring this one???”
dies a little inside“ –Explosivpotato
7. If you don’t get your ass in here when I’m talking to you…
“I can’t hear you from the other room.” –__Sentient_Fedora__
“Oh, f–k, yes. There have been times when I’ve been working in the back yard and heard my girlfriend talking to me inside the house. I can’t tell what she’s saying, and I don’t know how long she’s been talking. If I’m lucky, I hear and can go inside and ask her to repeat herself.
If I’m not lucky, then I’m completely unaware she said anything at all, but later I’m going to be held responsible for knowing what she said.” –capilot
8. This is a smart man…
“Nice try, I am not falling for this one again” –Uneasylemons
9. Who told you to say that?
“I like it when a woman rests her head on my shoulder or chest. Not sexual or romantic, it just makes me feel like I matter and or is a reminder that I do.” –_crow_father
10. I have to say, I was thinking the same thing…
“The sick-ass kung fu brawl I’m imagining when we’re on line at the Post Office.” –AllPurposeNerd
“I can confidently say that if you’re ever wondering at any given time what I’m thinking about in a public place, it’s almost definitely what I would do if everyone I see attacked me.” –ParkityParkPark