Masha
Certain movie tropes persist, despite their not adding anything to character or plot, and despite their not making a whole lot of sense. For example: the last-minute magic bulletproof vest, wherein a bullet-ridden protagonist reveals he had the foresight to wear a vest and jumps back up to wreak havoc on his would-be murderers. Or the cliffhanger, where the hero pulls up another character (almost always a woman) who is about to plummet to her death from a cliff (always a literal cliff! Though sometimes the top of a skyscraper). It doesn’t matter how much this character weighs—the hero has incredible arm strength.
Flashlights always run out of batteries in horror movies, a protagonist is shown to be badass by walking away from an explosion wearing sunglasses and not looking back, and during a chase scene, a baby in a stroller survives by a hair.
We have questions. Mainly, WHY DOES NOBODY SAY GOODBYE BEFORE HANGING UP THE PHONE?
1.
why do men in movies always dramatically chop wood when they’re frustrated?? does this happen in real life or what
— lexie maechler (@lexmaechler) December 12, 2018
2.
WHY DO GUYS IN MOVIES KISS GIRLS IN THE MIDDLE OF THEM RANTING SHE GOT SOMETHIN TO SAY
— 🐝 (@qarrettmaine) June 29, 2016
3.
why do men in movies always tell their wives to pack up and go to their sisters when there is a threat?
— vee (@veggie_delight) June 15, 2017
4.
how come for every movie date ever the guy is always like "pick you up at 8" but if that happened in real life I would die of hunger waiting
— Elamin Abdelmahmoud (@elamin88) January 5, 2016
5.
why do men in movies always go to bars alone
— Kareem Lauren Short (@kareemlaurens) February 7, 2012
6.
https://twitter.com/SuzKorb/status/569171108001386497
7.
Why do men in movies laugh at an old story then out of nowhere turn all serious.
If you ruin the mood like that in real life you can fuck off.— Mr. Kilian (@KilExperience) October 2, 2018
8.
Why do guys in movies think proposing in restaurants is romantic? That sucks.
— tifferz (@Tiffrrs) February 1, 2014
9.
https://twitter.com/nihontas/status/545759870486450176
10.
https://twitter.com/MsBelladonna925/status/977976909547044864
11.
Have men in movies ever considered that their aftershave stings because they slap it on?
— Danette Chavez (@BonMotVivant) January 12, 2019
12.
According to movies, this is how men shave:
1. Lather face.
2. Make a couple of random strokes with a razor.
3. Wipe off rest of lather with a dry towel.
Done.
NB: all this must be undertaken while talking to someone and sharing important plot related stuff.— Michael Pryor (@michaeljpryor) August 6, 2018
13.
According to movies and TV guys cut themselves while shaving every single time
— Westin Lee (@westinlee) September 30, 2018
14.
https://twitter.com/MaddieBurch/status/209526270973845504
15.
https://twitter.com/notdannydevito_/status/1028806415945818119
16.
https://twitter.com/kaitcaarm/status/938598556243390464
17.
https://twitter.com/cxnnnnxr/status/923308040488701953
h/t BuzzFeed
