Mike
If you’re over the age of 30, there’s a pretty good chance your parents are butchering Facebook statuses.
It’s painful to watch. Aside from the awkward comments on everything we post and the knowledge that they’re watching our every move online, the real gut punch is the status updates.
My mother is one of these people, and while I love her very much, she makes some bold and wildly misinformed emoji choices. She announces things no one needs to know. And bless her heart she is basically live-streaming the lives of her grandchildren.
While this can be awkward to watch, taking an outsider’s perspective helps. When it’s not your mom or dad, it’s actually pretty damn funny.
1. That emoji doesn’t mean crying.
2. Seriously, there are so many other emojis that do.
3. A method to the madness.
4. Weird flex but ok.
5. Did HR throw you a “surprise you’re a racist” party?
6. Get those hearts out of your eyes and it might be easier to see.
7. Take that to WebMD, please.
8. See ya?
9. Way to put Patty on blast.
10. Do you though?
11. A suspicious amount of arson going on in the old people Facebook community.
12. How dare you.
13. I mean, cake IS the ultimate comfort food.
14. Don’t want it turning my teeth blue either though.
15. In her defense, I also thought this was chocolate initially.
