The smell of a Subway franchise is very distinctive. Sort of like if a bakery had a yeast infection. Yet, people do flock there to buy their sandwiches and have it Their Way. But will Subway Sandwiches still technically be a sandwich shop after its bread was officially ruled Not Bread?
This verdict is only official in Ireland, after a franchisee called Bookfinders Ltd. brought a lawsuit, saying they should not have to pay VAT (value-added tax) to the government, because the imports and products they sell are “staple foods,” according to Vice News. A staple food is like a necessity, which bread still is to people who aren’t gluten averse. They first lost their case to Ireland’s Revenue service, took it to the high court, and just lost again.
Why? Because Ireland’s Value-Added Tax Act of 1972 the high sugar content makes Subway’s bread not a staple food, or not bread. People are finding this hilarious:
“All six of the company’s bread options — Italian white bread, Italian herbs and cheese, nine-grain wheat, hearty Italian, nine-grain multi-seed, and honey oat — were deemed too sugary by the court to qualify as bread.” pic.twitter.com/o7WjgxDPlD
— Dan Lust (@SportsLawLust) October 1, 2020
Subway isn’t. A spokesperson for the company told Vice, “Subway’s bread is, of course, bread. We have been baking fresh bread in our stores for more than three decades and our guests return each day for sandwiches made on bread that smells as good as it tastes.”
Okay, then it must taste awful. I am personally gratified that the smell of a Subway sandwich is being openly acknowledged as a noxious poison by some in the wake of this momentous ruling:
I've always been unsettled by that bread's distinctive smell—you can tell you're near a Subway even before you see the sign.
— Doug Mack (@douglasmack) October 1, 2020
A triumphant day…Subway smell is the most cursed “food” smell on earth imo https://t.co/wUvY9Emzg3
— Megan Nolan (@mmegannnolan) October 1, 2020
Everyone is kicking them while they’re down, even companies that probably work with them:
In 2017, Subway's chicken was DNA tested by a Canadian company and was found to only contain about 50% chicken.
The rest was mostly soy filler.
— UberFacts (@UberFacts) October 1, 2020
We will not be lied to. From now on they will have to be described as "Cakes with Ham in Them".https://t.co/0DuWXmqHx7
— Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) October 1, 2020
Though some Irish people are intrigued by this whole sugar bread thing. Subway must not be a particularly popular brand in the country, because some people are only learning about this through mockery of the institution:
ive never had a subway in my life but if I had known they were serving sugar bread I’d have been in there every day
— Patrick (@PrayForPatrick) October 1, 2020
Maybe they should rebrand as a sweet’s shop and make all those sandwiches into desserts, though it won’t help with their tax issues. They actually do make pretty good chocolate chip cookies. They were tasty enough to lure me inside that croissant-fart hot box.