17 Pictures That Prove Teachers Should Be Paid $1,000,000 Per Year

Every month I shell out what’s basically a second mortgage for not one, not two, but three children in daycare, and, frankly, it feels like a ripoff.

But then I think about how someone else is internalizing all the bullshit of not one, not two, but three of my kids all day and suddenly it doesn’t seem so bad.

And actually, with the average hourly rate for daycare providers and elementary school teachers coming in at $10.73 nationwide, I feel like I’m ripping them off.

Here are some pictures I think teachers should take to their administrations and use as collateral for a raise.

A raise to one million dollars.

1. “Umm, dealing with literal shit in a backpack? Gonna need more than $11/hour.”

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2. “Definitely not getting paid enough to write home about this…”

3. “Or this…”

4. “Or this…”

5. “Ok this is kind of cute, but also I’m not getting paid to be a sexual harassment counselor.”

6. “Sorry but my rate for explaining bordeline perverted drawings to parents is $719/hour”

7. “Live pets? Did I sign up to be Steve Fucking Irwin up in here?”

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8. “I’m not the FCC, censor your own kids or pay me more.”

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9. “Psychologists usually charge $100/hour, so if you want me to treat narcissism, I need a raise.”

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10. “…Or if you want me to treat whatever mental health issue this is.”

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11. “The ‘think about it chair’ is just another word for therapy, which I’m not getting paid to provide.”

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12. “Oh hell no, I don’t get out of bed and handle dead lizards for less than $5k.”

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13. “Um, brie is expensive. Don’t shove your wealth in my face.”

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14. “Interpreters make over $100/hour. So raise or figure this out on your own.”

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15. “Ok, let’s face it, your kid is kind of an asshole most times, which is why you leave him with teachers during the day, so pay up.”

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16. “I’m not getting paid to be poison control”

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17. “Ok, fine, kind of cute, but still gonna need that $1m.”

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h/t Buzzfeeed, pleated-jeans