They call the first 1-2 years of being married the “Honeymoon Phase,” but what do they call the rest of it?
If these hilariously spot-on tweets about marriage are any indication, they should call everything else the “I Love This Person, But Seriously WTF Is Wrong With Them Phase”
Enjoy! And be sure to passive-aggressively tag your spouse in this post — since passive-aggressive social media tagging is pretty much 73% of marriage these days.
1.
In case you're wondering what marriage is like, my husband and I just fought over the fact that he wouldn't tell me where he hid the candy I asked him to hide from me.
— Lindsey Silver (@EvenTheDogsABoy) February 23, 2018
2.
My wife and I hit an important marriage milestone.
We had a fight entirely in fridge magnets. pic.twitter.com/sUvXbe2Fnn
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 4, 2015
3.
4.
Tell me how tired you are so I can upstage you and tell you how much more tired I am.
-marriage
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) September 2, 2017
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7.
My wife and I are texting while sitting next to each other so we can complain about an annoying guy near us in the waiting room. #MarriedLife
— William Morgan (@wmorgan3000) March 2, 2018
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9.
https://twitter.com/deegeemindi/status/852651104542351361
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11.
wife [on phone] Did you preheat the oven like I asked?
me: Yep
wife: What temperature?
me: 534
wife: That's the clock
me
wife
me: 535— Josh (@iwearaonesie) April 16, 2017
12.
I’ve reached the point in my marriage that my husband fell asleep on the couch and OMG I AM SO EXCITED I GET THE BED ALL TO MYSELF
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) October 15, 2017
13.
https://twitter.com/better_off_dad/status/919358514698555392?ref_src=twsrctfw&ref_url=httpwww.distractify.comhumor201803022azFXOmarriage-aint-easy
14.
WIFE: We really need to think about sticking to our monthly budget
ME: *feeding my pet octopus a bag of emeralds* I agree— Just Some Guy | Black Lives Matter (@Home_Halfway) February 21, 2017
15.
[Me, on my deathbed]
Wife: Is that what you're going to wear?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 23, 2017