Don’t Buy These Amazon Dog Masks Unless You Want Nightmares For The Rest Of Your Life

A novelty store on Amazon is selling some hilarious yet disturbing dog masks. The masks are sold by novelty seller AXAYINC, which sells all manner of goofy doo-dads and gizmos, including a water balloon launcher and a Baby Groot nightlight. The company claims the masks are useful both for keeping your dogs from eating unsafe things and for “pet entertainment purposes.” Both claims seem rather dubious, however.

These masks are made of latex and are supposed to be entertaining, but there’s nothing fun about seeing these horrible grinning faces staring back at you when you look at your furry friend.

This is just a whole lotta “nope.”

The Amazon page says the masks aren’t suitable for smaller dogs, but it also seems to only feature smaller dogs wearing them. What it should say is that they’re not suitable for ANY dogs because they’re fucking terrifying.

Not all the masks are smiling, some of them come with luscious red lips which is EVEN MORE disturbing.

“Give us a kiss, precioussss.”

Then there’s this rugged look, which comes with a cigar. Somehow this pup’s distressed eyes make it work, though.

Some people are raising safety concerns about the masks, saying they could restrict the dog’s airway and pointing to safer (less nightmare-inducing) options if you need to keep your doggo from eating everything in sight.

Please don’t dress your dog up like a human-faced monster. They don’t deserve it and your sanity may never recover.