When it comes to watching porno, everybody’s got their favorite flavor. The variety of porn scenarios and categories available is damn near incalculable but there is really just one thing everyone agrees is the BEST part: the dialogue.
So in-depth and thoroughly enthralling, porn scripts are OBVIOUSLY what draws the viewer amirite??
Ok but really, porn dialogue is freakin’ awful because why wouldn’t it be?
In reality, there’s only a certain type of freak who needs the whole story to get goin’ while the rest of us skip to the good parts.
Luckily there is such a thing as “so bad it’s good,” and pornography is full of it.
Redditor u/MoltenDonut asked: “What’s the best dialogue you have heard in porn?”
And the results are so bad they’re good.
1.
Girl: “F–k my ass”
Guy: “Gross, no”
Guy behind camera: “John, please” –Cathalisfallingapart
2.
“In 2014 a porn came out called “Nocturnal Activities” where one of the actors put a pair of panties over his face and did an impression of Bane saying “Nobody cared who I was until I put on the mask.” –-eDgAR-
3.
“‘How about a Scooby Snack?’
‘Nooo.’
‘How about 2 Scooby Snacks?’
‘Nooooooo.’
‘Well, what if I showed you my @ss?’
‘…Okaaay.’
Fred looks at them from the driver’s seat ” –Terlinilia
4.
“Mother approaches daughter’s bedroom door
Mother: What are you doing in there?
Sister is F–king Brother
Sister: Nothing Mom! Just Masturbating!
Mother: Oh, well good luck!
Mother leaves the door” –Zephryn24
5.
“One time I was watching a porn where the dude is f–king his stepmom and she looks at him and says, Don’t feel weird, feel good.
I still use that line, even outside of sexual context.” –DrJawn
6.
“A woman in an office was drinking a glass of milk, so the boss who had like a slavic accent (if I remember correctly) comes up and says “So you like Milk?” and after she responds he just takes the glass proceeds to put his d-ck inside it.” –MrDeco97
7.
“My friend directed and starred in a porno where she plays an escaped mental patient. Another woman mistakes her for her gynecologist and lets her give her a pelvic exam. My friend put her ear to the other lady’s vagina and said, “I can hear the ocean!” “-transemacabre
8.
“Alien woman: “Don’t move or I’ll shoot you with my sex ray gun.”
Guy: “No, not the sex ray gun!”
Woman: shoots
Guy: “I have a boner!”
You can’t make this crap up. I actually spent money to rent the damn movie at a video store! Porn from 20 years ago definitely had its ups and downs. I want a sex ray gun too!” –SkyeBlue36
9.
“But I poop from there!” –MajorDadSucked
10.
“I miss your uncle so much. You remind me of him.”
“Well he is my uncle, it’s in our genes.”
“Speaking of genes(jeans), I want to get in yours.” *rubs leg*
“Well these are shorts.” –noah5007