I once told a girl I had a thing for that I wanted to get her boyfriend pregnant. Drunk me thought that this would make her jealous. As an added bonus, she was with her boyfriend at the time, and I ended up calling and talking to them. I don’t remember much of the conversation, but I remember really running with this idea, a la “Our babies would be beautiful, Bobby, think about it. I should get you pregnant.”
7.
In high school I once drunk texted the wrong girl that i was really interested in her. Same name, Taylor, but I sent it to the wrong one. I was too embarrassed to correct the mistake, and it turned out that the Taylor who got the message was VERY interested in me. We dated for 2 years.
8.
I once sent a coke fueled love/foursome offer to three of my female friends. They laughed quite hard at me the next day. Worth a shot though right? It was on Facebook and they were all copied in on the same message.
9.
Blind drunk, asked a girl I was seeing to come over at 4am, she did, doors where locked, I’m passed out in bed, she waited outside for ages. She was not happy.
10.
I once called my boss at 3:30 am and left a voicemail that started with “Hey gurl…” and ended with “Fuck! I just called Russell!”
Jason is a Webby winning, Short-Award losing humor writer and businessman. He lives in Texas with his amazing wife and four sometimes amazing kids. All opinions are mine and very dumb.
Jason Mustian
