11. And while we’re at it, the little tray the check comes on is fine too. No need to bring it out on a full-size fucking typewriter.

12. Enough said.

13. A drink served in a rock with a hole but no straw. Might be whiskey. Might be a scorpion.

14. When you’re done you wiper your face with a plate.

15. Not only are the fries soggy, but you evicted a goldfish for this.

16. Bread in a roadkill sack. Burn this place down.

17. Then you slap the waiter in the face with it.

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