If I worked at a restaurant on Valentine’s Day I would put a fake engagement ring in every girl’s drink.
— ABDULMUTOLEEB GIUSEPPE OYELEKE (@Oye440) February 6, 2020
5 years ago, shortly after Valentine’s Day, I asked Esme out on a date. We eventually had sex, now we live together and pool our resources in order to survive.
And they say romance is dead in 2020.
— Hutch (@hutchinson) February 13, 2020
I can’t wait for Valentine’s Day to be done and over with so stores can take the conversation heart candies off the shelves so I can get my jawline back
— Alissa Ashley (@alissa_ashleyy) February 6, 2020
This Valentine’s Day, tell her how much she means to you. Tell her how much you love her. Tell her… with the Sonic the Hedgehog movie
— #KBQ2 TOMORROW (@jacksfilms) November 12, 2019
all i want on Valentine’s Day is to be a hot girl on Instagram out to dinner with my notciably less hot boyfriend
— Gråçë (@garrcie) February 5, 2020
guys you’re casually hooking up w on valentine’s day will be like “if we have sex tonight you have to promise not to read more into it just bc it’s valentine’s day.” and it’s like, look, i don’t need valentine’s day to project false meaning onto a casual hookup.
— Dana Donnelly (@danadonly) February 13, 2020
Ima evade my taxes for Valentine’s Day at least the IRS will want me
— Cryptic (@CrypticNoOne) February 5, 2020
It’s almost Valentine’s Day and idk what to get myself yet.
— Kévin (@KevinLangue) February 13, 2020
i believe this insane / horny valentine my youngest sister made for a school project deserves wider attention pic.twitter.com/nmXsNsEPCT
— Kelley Valentime’s Day L Word Barista Quinn (@heyKQ) February 6, 2020
Instead of buying him gifts on Valentine’s Day, just give him the money let him pay the people he’s owing.
— Samuel Mbah (@__Mbah) February 5, 2020