11.
https://twitter.com/KarlGrossman1/status/1066002209228361728
12.
Ladies, if he's
– not texting back
– turning saints into the sea
– swimming through sick lullabies
– choking on your alibis
– opening up his eager eyesHe's not your man. He's Mr. Brightside.
— jolly saint ric (@ricsanchez) November 26, 2018
13.
Ladies, if he:
– never texts back
– his hat is black
– waits in your closet just to attack
– if he’s sprung to life from a pop-up bookHe's not your man. He’s not, just look. You can’t escape the BABADOOK
— Phil Nobile Jr. (@PhilNobileJr) November 26, 2018
14.
https://twitter.com/alisonguzzetti/status/1066362763138740227
15.
https://twitter.com/ragsoflove/status/1065960788073070593
16.
Ladies, if he:
– doesn’t return your texts
– always criticizes the results of your hard work and withholds praise for your efforts
– gives vague ultimatums and disappears when you most need help
– loves breadHe isn’t your man. He’s baker and tv personality Paul Hollywood
— Great Bakes, Hot Takes (@greatbakespod) November 25, 2018
17.
https://twitter.com/jdl_werewolf/status/1066760257991409664
18.
Ladies, if he:
— doesn’t respond to your texts
— doesn’t comment on your pics
— is the loving mother of 3 kids
— won an Oscar in 2001
— was named People magazine’s “most beautiful woman” (5 times!!!)
He’s not your man. He’s legendary Hollywood star, Julia Roberts. pic.twitter.com/xIQGQCh2NS
— Katya (@katya_zamo) November 26, 2018
19.
Ladies, if he:
– ignores text messages
– doesn't like your tweets
– is always cold
– rarely opens up to you
– never leaves the house
– makes weird humming sounds at nightHe's not your man. He's a refrigerator.
— The Daily Wire (@realDailyWire) November 24, 2018
20.
Ladies, if he:
– is warm and inviting
– is generous
– is active in the community
– expects you to return his stuff frequently and fines you if you don’t
– demands you stay awake at all timesHe's not your man. He's a public library and you should return your books on time.
— alex halpern (@HalpernAlex) November 25, 2018