We’re on day infinity of quarantine and things have been tense at home for a while. With so much time on our hands, it’s easy to get caught up in the little things. People who live with other people are specifically caught up in the little things that the other person is doing. If your roommate is actually your romantic partner, it’s even worse.
Writer Lizzie O’Leary asked her Twitter followers to share the small stuff their partner is doing that is making them consider divorce as soon as courts open again. The pettier, the better.
Tell me about the small, maddening thing your partner does in quarantine that drives you insane. I’m not talking high stakes stuff, but the real petty annoyances.
— Lizzie O’Leary (@lizzieohreally) May 7, 2020
She shared her own household hot button issues, which revolve around tea mugs and chairs:
I’m totally gonna get in trouble for this.
— Lizzie O’Leary (@lizzieohreally) May 7, 2020
One thing I’ve decided after reading all these responses is that if people just did their dishes and put their mugs away, half of all marital discord would disappear. Not unlike rights with roommates. Check on your cups today and possibly save your relationship.
1.
He leaves tea mugs all over the house and now one of the kids has started doing this too. Something to look forward to!
— Alexandra Jacobs (@AlexandraJacobs) May 7, 2020
2.
My wife takes all the good fruit from our Animal Crossing island before I have time to play. https://t.co/Yr4qxWshz0
— Steve Kovach (@stevekovach) May 7, 2020
3.
Is “chewing food” too petty? 😬
— jen homann (@mpjeno) May 7, 2020
4.
My husband’s answer: Steals his drink. It doesn’t matter what it is at this point, its a pride thing.
My answer: PHONE USAGE!!!! Why? Can’t he put his phone away and have family time? Why do I have toddler ownership the moment I’m off??
— Rebecca Roston (@Rebecca_Roston) May 7, 2020
5.
My wife and I share a home office and far too many times she has turned to me and said “Why are you breathing like that???” I was just breathing normally I thought 🤷♂️
— Don Music (@statsdeac) May 7, 2020
6.
W has left a gently used cheeseboard and knife on the counter for weeks now. (He will occasionally use it and even clean it! But it’s always there!!)
I, on the other hand, leave one and a half sips of water in every glass. He calls this amount of liquid a “Gretchen.” https://t.co/FuvWySwZEM
— Gretchen Alice (@gretchenalice) May 7, 2020
7.
His knack for “filing” things in objectively absurd places—e.g. I find paper towel rolls under couch pillows, dinner plates on the mantle, a poolish for bread he’s making on top of the fridge… https://t.co/ih51I5DuEx
— Rebecca Vallas (@rebeccavallas) May 7, 2020
8.
walks too heavily
— Kathryn VanArendonk (@kvanaren) May 7, 2020
9.
maggie tries to trip me, but only when i have my hands full or am in the kitchen with a knife.
— Nicole (@nicolewdc) May 7, 2020
10.
He never closes cabinet doors. (I meanwhile leave half drunk mugs of tea everywhere like breadcrumbs in a very boring fairytale.) https://t.co/ATRUVrTbKC
— Hannah Groch-Begley (@grouchybagels) May 7, 2020