Story Of My Fucking Life
I don’t care who you are, these Tweets are you.
Don’t try to run from them.
Embrace who you are and let the Tweets speak your truth to power.
27.
I am never more gloriously delusional than when I buy a new planner and for a few precious moments assume that it will immediately fix me and the world entire.
— anne t donahue (@annetdonahue) July 19, 2018
26.
I’m just a girl
Sitting in front of a computer
Holding a phone
Which is open to the same website as the computer I’m sitting in front of.
— Allison Tolman (@Allison_Tolman) May 24, 2018
25.
Me, in hell: I was told there would be a “special” place for me?
— Alice Wetterlund (@alicewetterlund) February 25, 2019
24.
https://twitter.com/nickccerino/status/1099762784722714624
23.
me whispering into my green tea after taking one sip: ʸᵒᵘ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ᶠᶦˣ ᵐʸ ᵉⁿᵗᶦʳᵉ ˡᶦᶠᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍʳᵒˢˢ ᵇᶦᵗᶜʰ.. ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᶦ ᵇᵉᵍ
— indie 🇵🇸 (@INDIEWASHERE) November 13, 2017
22.
User submit: @AlisonLeiby pic.twitter.com/Bofsw0mXtl
— Story Of My Fucking Life (@theSOMFL) February 11, 2019
21.
[burglar gently waking me] you live like this?
— eEric (@ericsshadow) January 15, 2016
20.
I am a:
⚪️ Man
⚪️ Woman
🔘 Dumb bitch
Looking for:
⚪️ Women
⚪️ Men
🔘 My keys that i had 2 seconds ago
— Adrianna 🍒👽 (@aydreezyy) February 12, 2019
19.
me: drinks coffee, drinks alcohol, eats half a pizza with cheesy garlic bread
stomach: hurts
me: it is a mystery
— samantha tomaszewski (@samanthajtom) August 21, 2018
18.
if I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online it's not that I lied it's just that I failed
— arty (@artymetropia) August 29, 2018
17.
Dry shampoo makes me feel like I’m doing a good job at life for exactly one minute
— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) May 23, 2018
16.
https://twitter.com/DanaSchwartzzz/status/1012401347352657920
15.
Sorry, I need to cancel our meeting on account of the fact that I vastly overestimated the type of person I was when I scheduled it.
— Jason Mustian (@jasonmustian) April 3, 2019
14.
https://twitter.com/rubexcubex/status/1097558646656036866
13.
me: it’s so hard to fall asleep tonight! I wonder if it’s that iced coffee I had at 6pm?
the iced coffee I had at 6pm: pic.twitter.com/XeCpYVp7BP
— nicole boyce (@nicolewboyce) September 18, 2018
12.
It's okay password, I'm insecure too.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) November 20, 2014
11.
me (after spending two hours watching old Vine compilations): how do people have time to listen to podcasts
— Dee (@figgled) April 3, 2018
