I don’t care who you are, these Tweets are you.
Don’t try to run from them.
Embrace who you are and let the Tweets speak your truth to power.
I am never more gloriously delusional than when I buy a new planner and for a few precious moments assume that it will immediately fix me and the world entire.
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) July 19, 2018
I’m just a girl
Sitting in front of a computer
Holding a phone
Which is open to the same website as the computer I’m sitting in front of.
— Allison Tolman (@Allison_Tolman) May 24, 2018
Me, in hell: I was told there would be a “special” place for me?
— U Coulda Had a Bad Witch (@alicewetterlund) February 25, 2019
me whispering into my green tea after taking one sip: ʸᵒᵘ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ᶠᶦˣ ᵐʸ ᵉⁿᵗᶦʳᵉ ˡᶦᶠᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍʳᵒˢˢ ᵇᶦᵗᶜʰ.. ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᶦ ᵇᵉᵍ
— indie (@INDIEWASHERE) November 13, 2017
— Story Of My Fucking Life (@theSOMFL) February 11, 2019
[burglar gently waking me] you live like this?
— LocomotivEric (@ericsshadow) January 15, 2016
me: drinks coffee, drinks alcohol, eats half a pizza with cheesy garlic bread
me: it is a mystery
— Samantha Tomaszewski (@managewski) August 21, 2018
if I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online it's not that I lied it's just that I failed
— vamparty (@artyintheuk) August 29, 2018
Dry shampoo makes me feel like I’m doing a good job at life for exactly one minute
— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) May 23, 2018
ME: I'm going to start really taking care of my body. Fruits, vegetables, ViTiMiNssss, I am going to FEEL good and LOOK good. No sugar. Maybe I'll go VEGAN. YES I will be a goddess I will GLOW with HEALTH
FREE OFFICE DOUGHNUTS: bitch u thought
— No Dana only Zuul (@DanaSchwartzzz) June 28, 2018
Sorry, I need to cancel our meeting on account of the fact that I vastly overestimated the type of person I was when I scheduled it.
— Jason Mustian (@jasonmustian) April 3, 2019
when u drop ur charger down the side of the bed in the dark pic.twitter.com/BzBYYc5aGV
— R U B Y ♡ R Ø S E (@rubexcubex) February 18, 2019
me: it’s so hard to fall asleep tonight! I wonder if it’s that iced coffee I had at 6pm?
the iced coffee I had at 6pm: pic.twitter.com/XeCpYVp7BP
— nicole boyce (@nicolewboyce) September 18, 2018
It's okay password, I'm insecure too.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) November 20, 2014
me (after spending two hours watching old Vine compilations): how do people have time to listen to podcasts
— Deirdre (@figgled) April 3, 2018