This Viral Thread Roasting Newborns Is Bringing People To Literal Tears

Babies aren’t for everyone.

Being around babies isn’t for everyone. While there are of course people out there who nearly melt at the sight of a newborn, there are also tons of folks out there don’t f—k with them at all. Neither is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’—it is what it is.

For me, it depends on the newborn. If they have Michelin Man wrists/ankles and give off a good vibe, I’m down. If they scream constantly and mean mug without cause, then nooooo thank you.

A couple of weeks ago, Twitter user Charlily (@charlee_buns) prompted Twitter to share revelations about newborns in a way that was both so controversial and so brave (though mostly so funny.)

“Let’s slander newborns,” Charlily tweeted frankly. “I don’t like their lil swoop hairdos.”

In a similar vein, @CoachPSays this week asked the fine citizens of Twitter to slander newborns’ brothers- and sisters-in-arms, toddlers. 

The self-proclaimed “smoothie aficionado” and mom added a couple of subsequent tweets slandering her 3-year-old for his big feet and constant sticky affectation.

People were all too happy to roast the hell out of toddlers, starting with their abysmal hide-and-seek skills.

They’re also incredibly demanding and loud, taking up far too much space for someone so small. They don’t even contribute in any way! Just take, take, take.

And what’s up with them and food? Always begging for it yet somehow managing to miss their mouth with every bite.

Why they always smell like they do?

Why are they always lying?

Always so sloppy. It’s like they don’t even try.

Surprised to see nobody’s mentioned how terrible toddlers are at giving thumbs up. Try putting a thumb up and end up lifting half the fingers along with it.

h/t Twitter