Oh, God, the agony of embarrassing things happening when you are trying to be attractive to someone. Whyyyy do our bodies make us do things like have to poop at the most inconvenient times? Why can’t we just push a pause button and save that crap (literally) for later?
Anyway, if you’ve been on the internet basically at all recently, you’ve no doubt come across the meme with the “here’s…the motherf**kin’…tea” woman, the TikTok user who sips from a straw in a Starbucks cup and taps the phone in between her words.
Another TikTok video is going viral now that involves both the tea girl and a hysterical bathroom story that will make you so happy this has never happened to you. This might be one of the most cringe-inducing stories we’ve ever heard.
The video is from Liza Rizzardi, who has the username @fruitloops17 and over 56,000 fans on the popular platform. So, yeah, she’s pretty well-known.
Rizzardi starts by throwing some ice into a glass jar and then filling the glass up from a fishbowl. Already I’m cracking up.
She then sips from the straw and does the “here’s the motherf**kin’ tea” bit.
She starts the story by explaining that she was seeing a guy and she was at his house when she realized she had to use the bathroom. Okay, no big deal, she’ll just use the bathroom at his house.
The thing is, she had to poop. And you know how it’s like somehow embarrassing for women to admit we poop? Like, somehow we are so special that our bodies just don’t do anything quite as foul as that?
Anyway, she did as nature commanded, and then…holy sh*t, the toilet wouldn’t flush!
She didn’t want to tell the guy she’d done a poo, so she picked it up out of the toilet with a piece of paper and put it in the cat litter. Problem solved, right? Um, not exactly.
The guy comes downstairs and immediately asks her if she went to the bathroom in the litterbox.
She, of course, feigned ignorance and said, “no, your cat must have done it.”
At which point he reveals…his cat has been dead for weeks.
And then she does a cute ending, pulling her sunglasses down and calmly stating, “Well, f**k.”
You can check out the whole video below.
Is the story true? We have no idea. Is it absolutely hilarious? Yes, it is.