Most parents are happy to brag about what beautiful baby geniuses their kids are, but hide the more ridiculous things the tiny monster they spawned gets up to when their backs are turned.
Kids can’t help it—they’re stupid! They just don’t know stuff. They can barely work their own bodies. Let’s get real.
The parents of Reddit are willing to admit it, at least, responding with honesty to a prompt from user u/whitefoxrcm on r/AskReddit that reads, “Parents of Reddit what is your best ‘why is my kid so stupid’ moment?”
Based on the astonishing and hilarious responses, parenting is mostly trying to keep your kid from accidentally burning the house down because they don’t realize the curtains are flammable. Stupid kids.
Me waking into the bathroom to check on my 4 year old son having a bath:
“Why are you smashing your penis with that (toy) hammer?” —GFY_EH
My 12 year old daughter blamed a squirrel when we asked how the Borax for her slime projects moved from the garage to the kitchen counter. It’s so fulfilling to go from “I’m pretty sure you’re lying”, to “100% I know you’re lying” —zw12065
I’m amazed at how many times I’ve had to say “don’t lick that”. —Pm_me_what
I don’t have kids, but my nephews were over visiting for Thanksgiving. The youngest was 2.5. We have pet chinchillas and we showed him that if he offered the chinchillas an apple wood stick, the chinchilla would take it from him and start gnawing on it.
Well obviously, this was great fun so he started giving the chinchillas dozens of sticks (which I’m sure they loved him for — no harm no foul by the way, it’s not like it’s unhealthy for them. It was just getting excessive).
At some point his grandpa said “Enough” and teasingly “For every stick you give them you have to eat one too”
My older brother carved my name into the side of my mums car with a rock for whatever reason and tried to blame it on me I was like 4 years old and couldn’t write yet. —PiBBzYx
My daughter insists wearing a jacket will make her cold because she only wears it when she is cold.—ellemenopeaqu
My son, who was 8 at the time, and an only child, carved his very long name into the toilet seat. Then claimed he didn’t do it. Lol. —Purdygreen
My toddler watched at least an hour of an animated movie populated entirely by talking animals. Suddenly, a giraffe came onscreen and said something. My kid stood up, pointed at the TV, and angrily yelled, “What?! Giraffes can’t talk!” —the-magnific*nt
Our daughter. When asked what she wanted to be when she grows up answered: “I want to be a strawberry, but if that’s too hard I want to be purple”… The color purple. The fruit strawberry. She was five. —RainbowUnicornLeader
My son has microwaved ramen noodles with no water A FEW TIMES. Just so you know, they are flammable and smoke horribly and turn your microwave an awful yellow color.—ZooBitch