Jason Mustian
You’ve probably won your fair share of hypothetical arguments in the shower, against yourself, dropping that one final, perfect comeback, then, boom, mic (soap) drop.
https://giphy.com/gifs/15BuyagtKucHm
If you’re in the market for a fresh comeback, or frankly just love a good insult, may we recommend one of these bangers:
1.
It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.
2.
I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.
3.
You are the human version of period cramps.
4.
Somewhere out there, there’s a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe. I think you should go and apologize to it.
5.
I understand everything you said. I’m choosing to ignore you.
6.
I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
7.
Someday you’ll go far. I hope you stay there.
8.
I am returning your nose. I found it in my business.
9.
You are like a cloud. When you disappear it’s a beautiful day.
10.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
11.
You’re about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
12.
You’re not simply a drama queen. You’re the whole royal family.
13.
Hold still. I’m trying to imagine you with personality.
14.
Earth is full. Go home.
15.
Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it?
16.
They say our brains don’t stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early.
17.
May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm.
18.
The last time I saw something like you… I flushed.
19.
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
20.
You should come with a warning label.
21.
Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
22.
If you were an inanimate object, you’d be a participation trophy.
23.
I’ve been called worse by better.
24.
You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
25.
You’re impossible to underestimate.
26.
Y
ou’re not stupid! You just have bad luck when you’re thinking.
27.
You’re like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you.
28.
Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it?
29.
Hold still. I’m trying to imagine you with personality.
30.
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people.
