Patricia Grisafi
Is Thanksgiving Eve still the night when everyone goes out and brags to old friends about their magnificent successes while imbibing too much mid-shelf Scotch, showing us their alcohol palates have matured somewhat since drinking whatever was available in a red plastic cup?
I don’t know. I don’t have too many friends in my hometown, and anyway, we’re all busy cuddling up under our reasonably priced afghans mindlessly scrolling through our phones while a mediocre holiday film play in the background.
I certainly didn’t peak in high school, but I bet a lot of the folks putting on their finest Polo shirts and sparkliest little earrings did. Which brings us to the latest and Thanksgiving-appropriate Reddit list: “What Screams ‘I Peaked In High School?'” Maybe you can turn this into a scavenger hunt if you and your friends bravely venture forth to the local pub to remind yourself of what you’re not actually missing. Or smugly read it all by yourself! No judgment! We’re all trying our best.
Here are 15 things that scream “I peaked in high school,” according to Reddit:
1.
“People who say ‘high school is the best time of your life.'” — MomentOfHesitation
2.
“Dropping out of college to promote your pyramid scheme.” — comcollegedropout
3.
“I dated a guy with his high school mascot tattooed on his arm. It was such a turnoff.” — shs0007
4.
“A guy who graduated from my high school back in 2003 was arrested a few years ago for his 2nd DUI. He was wearing his Letterman jacket in his mugshot.” — gil_beard
5.
“At my ten year reunion, the prom queen came wearing a tiara with a custom “Queen ’03” sash over her shoulder. I had to go outside I was laughing so hard.
But I’ll be damned if she didn’t rock that outfit the while time, so, respect.
Still sad though.” — acava2424
6.
“Sharing EVERY memory from Facebook talking about the “good ol days” and “wish we could go back” when it’s only been a few years since graduation.” — WillFlash4DoggoPics
7.
“Vagueing, or vagueposting… From my experience, the people who vague about petty drama just haven’t socially matured since they were like 16.” — shebbsquids
8.
Some of the popular girls from high school still get together very frequently, and you see updates of it on facebook. I also keep in touch with some friends from high school, and I think that that’s nice. However, one of those friends of mine once ran into them during one of their get-together. He said hi and happened to be sitting not too far from them at the bar.
He said that all they did for the whole night, was talk about high school. They looked up old classmates on Facebook, laughed at them, called them names, looked at their spouses and called them names too. They still thought themselves the popular kids, as if they still had some sort of influence on all these people. Everyone has moved on, done interesting things in their life except for them. They’re just rehashing old drama and old rumors.
One of those girls had a small bit of success as a photographer in high school. She won a couple contests that were aimed at teenagers and her photos aren’t bad. Her parents turned this into a very big deal, her friends all wanted to be in her photos, and she was dead set on going to art school and getting the recognition she deserved. I don’t know if she never made it into art school or if she dropped out, but she definitely did not become a photographer. Instead, you see her launching some new startup business selling asinine live-laugh-love shit about once a year. — cutehulhu
9.
“Selling pot to teenagers and then trying to get them to stay and smoke with you.” — ChunderForce
10.
“Making any mention of SAT or ACT scores. Bonus points for that IQ test you took when you were a kid online.” — karnim
11.
“I knew a guy who dropped out as a senior when I was a freshman, and throughout my entire high school career he was the dude who would show up to house parties and beat the shit out of people. Everyone knew who he was and was scared of him. I also recall seeing him brawl with dudes in the Taco Bell parking lot during lunch when he was, I dunno, 20?
Many years later he resurfaced on Facebook with a face tattoo and a lot of posting about Jesus. He messaged one of my buddies out of the blue one day and apologized for punching him in the face like a decade earlier.” — you-ole-polecat
12.
“I taught at a HS in the US for exactly one year. During that year some guy who had graduated a year or so prior came back to visit about three or four times. This douche just rolled into the school and would pop into classes to say hi to teachers and students in the middle of lessons. I have no idea why, but for some reason he was walking around barefoot too. He tried that shit in my class and I asked him promptly to leave, to which he said to me, ‘Oh, you’re new here and don’t understand that I’m sort of a legend around here, so people like to see me come by.’ Yeah, I kicked ‘the legend’ the f**k out and promptly advised my students to move on with their lives after they were finished with high school.” — dyingfast
13.
“I briefly worked with a guy I went to high school with, and like ninety percent of our not work related conversations were him reminiscing about how much he’d bullied me in high school (and acting like it was all a big joke).” — Agnol117
14.
“Selling your pyramid scheme essential oils on Facebook.” — Hbmc1123
15.
“Wearing your high school ring after graduation.” — Hrekires
