People Are Sharing The Absurd Lies Their Parents Told Them As Kids (17 Stories)

11.

“That babies came when a man and a woman love each other soooo much. I once cried and told my teachers I was scared I’d have a baby with my dad because I love him so much…” — Useful_Mushroom6522

12.

“There’s a five-cent charge every time we touch the light switch so my brother and I were costing them a fortune every time we played with flickering the lights.” — Goldofsunshine

13.

“Asked my dad why most of his hair was missing. He told me that when he was young, his hair was so silky and soft, the fairies came in the night and pulled it out, strand by strand, to make silk curtains for their fairy palaces. Also, the reason he had a gold tooth was that he stopped one night to help a witch who was stuck by the side of the road with a broken broomstick. When he mended it for her, she cast a spell and gave him a golden tooth to say thank you. Don’t you dare say my pa was lying to me unless you can prove it.” — TOMSDOTTIR

14.

“‘If I don’t go to work, I will be fired. Do you know what that means? It means they fire a gun at me and I die. That’s why I have to go to work.’ That ended up traumatizing me far more than my parents probably intended.” — polskiftw

15.

“I used to wear a bear costume like everyday when I was 5. One day, my mom already freakin’ tired of that costume told me it was ‘bear hunting season’ already and that it was no longer safe to go out dressed like that. The memory of she telling me that is forever locked in my memory now. I still to this day remember how reckless I felt for not having considered that…We still laugh about that lie.” — DasThrowawayen

16.

“One of the funniest ones was my dad used to tell me that if I swallowed bubble gum and farted then I would blow a bubble out of my butt and it could pop and make my butt sticky. Lmao! Classic dad joke, except I distinctly remember that he said this right after I had swallowed some gum and I repeatedly farted, hoping for a bubble to blow but alas, it never happened. And now bubble butt has a whole different meaning.” — JB_The_Dragon

17.

“That my uncle got cancer from having lunchables for lunch at school. Like damn, just tell me we can’t afford it.” — Electronic-Ad3386

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