Patricia Grisafi
Summer is coming! That means it’s time for bathing suits! And guess what? Everybody in a bathing suit body! Well, except if you happen to be a 15-year-old girl whose father is apoplectic about bikinis.
On Reddit, the bikini-averse father wrote on AITA asking if he is being too strict about not allowing his daughter to wear a two-piece.
And I think we all know that this dad needs to stop sexualizing his daughter and see her choice of swimwear as totally appropriate.
“My daughter is only 15. She is way too young to be dressing in a two-piece, but my wife agreed to let her buy one without my knowledge. The last time we went to the lake, which was last week, after I had unloaded the boat and we’d started to pull out into the lake my daughter takes off her shirt and shorts and I see the bikini. I stop the boat and ask her and my wife why she is wearing a bikini. They tell me that it’s no big deal and that all of her friends wear them so why should she not wear one too. I tell them that she’s too young to wear something so revealing and I disapprove,” the OP writes.
“I tell her that either she covers up or I will take the boat back to the ramp, so she agrees, mostly because some of her friends were there and she didn’t want to ruin their trip.”
The OP’s wife and daughter were both angry with him and let him know they thought he was being too strict.
He told them he didn’t care what her friends wore and that there is “no reason for a 15-year-old to wear something like this. I told them both that next time if she did not wear a tankini, one-piece or something that covered her up more she would not be coming with us to the lake. She would stay at home or else I would refuse to get the boat out and we would all stay home.”
“I realize that my daughter is getting older, and in another year or so I doubt I would object to a two piece, but that is in another year or so. Right now she is 15, and there’s no reason why she needs to show so much of her skin.”
Maybe it’s more comfortable? Maybe she’s feeling confident in her body? Maybe it’s fashion? Maybe it’s none of his business?
“Your daughter’s body is her own. There’s nothing inappropriate about a 2 piece bathing suit. Also I think that it sets a bad precedent for a father to tell his daughter what she can do with her body. She should be comfortable in her skin and she should have bodily autonomy. You can think these rules begin and end with you but they don’t. I wouldn’t want my daughter to go through life thinking men can control her body,” explained OLIVEmutt.
“Dude, this isn’t about ‘getting with the times’ so much as having some basic respect for your daughter as a human being…and not being sexualizing her in a way that is frankly creepy AF. It is her body and there’s nothing wrong with a bikini,” said lightwoodorchestra.Such restriction will only push your child away
“Such restriction will only push your child away. There are plenty of modest two pieces. If a two piece swim suit on a 15 year old seems sexually inappropriate to you, you may actually be the sexually inappropriate one. You don’t own the women in your life. They are allowed to make their own decisions, even if they go against yours. Instead of a hard no, you should opened the floor for discussion – asked your wife and daughter why they thought it was okay, explained your concerns, and allowed each party to address the others concerns. Yeah, your wife shouldn’t have gone behind your back but perhaps she did so out of fear of your reaction. This is another opportunity for discussion,” advised nobodiesia.
“YTA quit sexualizing your daughter,” said JeepNaked
“You embarrassed her in front of her friends. The most important one – by making a fuss about her covering up, you objectified and sexualized her a 1000% more than ‘wearing a bikini’ ever did. She’s reduced to what she was wearing and her body parts. You threw a temper tantrum and threatened to ruin everyone’s day because you were pissy. You belittled your wife in front of everyone by publicly proclaiming that your decisions hold more weight than hers and that she is a bad mother for helping your daughter just wear a bikini. And honestly dude there’s barely a difference between a tankini and a bikini. Why does showing your belly button become inappropriate? It’s completely arbitrary,” said zoomshon.
