chicken curry
Parenting

Dad Gets Roasted Over Letter Complaining About Indian Family Serving His Son Chicken Curry

There are over-protective parents and then there are white racist parents who use the excuse of over-protectiveness to keep their kids from experiencing anything outside of their little xenophobic bubble. What’s sad is this dad who spoke to Danny Lavery of Dear Prudence about his “problem” might even think of himself as a liberal—but he clearly has some pretty f*cked up biases and he’s not embarrassed to flaunt them online.

The father wrote to say that his family’s BUBBLE (he literally calls them that) opened to include another family in COVID-times. His son Chris is nine-years-old and is best friends with a kid named Neil. Neil’s parents are both doctors and were born and raised in India. Chris ended up having dinner at Neil’s house a few nights before this frenzied message was written. This is what happened:

“When we came to pick up Chris, Neil’s mom recounted to me how much chicken curry and lentils and vegetables Chris ate. I couldn’t believe that they served my son spicy curries without even calling to ask us if that would be OK! I was taken aback and gently mentioned that spicy foods can be hard on small tummies, but it didn’t seem to register. Thankfully Chris didn’t get sick. My wife says to drop it because any conversation will look racial in nature and to only let the boys play at our place. Please help.”

Now, the dad doesn’t say their family is white, but that phrase about the conversation looking “racial in nature” is a pretty big tell that they just might be. Two doctors know better than to feed a kid something that will make them violently ill, and if there’s been no conversation about allergies or gluten-free anything, they probably fed them a normal, healthy meal. Just one that’s more popular in India than in whatever cul-de-sac this dad was raised in.

Some people have been saying this story is fake or a troll, but lots of others have chimed in to say that they experienced similar xenophobic reactions to their own family’s cuisine from white people:

Luckily, Lavery gave this guy the smackdown pretty hard in their response:

“At the risk of taking the bait, you must realize that millions of people (presumably both of Neil’s parents, not to mention Neil himself) regularly eat lentils and vegetables as children in perfect safety. There’s something so grotesque about the infantilizing language of “gently informing someone”—especially when that someone is “two doctors”—about “small tummies,” coupled with the racist horror that your 9-year-old ate and enjoyed a few servings of chicken curry, one of the world’s most popular and adaptable dishes. Not all curries are spicy, and not all spices pack heat; your son ate a meal he enjoyed (one you didn’t have to prepare or clean up after) and continued to enjoy good health for the rest of the evening. Neil’s parents didn’t take him to a ghost pepper festival and turn him loose. Your kid was not endangered by chicken curry, and your problem is not one that Neil’s parents can fix for you. Take your wife’s advice and let this go.

I agree that it’s not really the point, and part of me doesn’t even want to engage with the “spicy-heat” question because it’s so clearly a smoke screen for suspicion and resentment of Indian food in general. Your kid enjoyed some new food and expanded his culinary horizons. That’s a good thing, not reason to fall into a spiral.”

It’s not just small tummies that are sensitive. It’s this dad and his fear of anything more flavorful than a piece of Wonder Bread.

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Aimeé Lutkin