20 People Share The Dumb, Weird, Funny Things They Believed As Kids

Childhood is magical — and also, children are completely confused by how the world works. It’s adorable and sometimes frightening. Did you ever think if you didn’t tuck your stuffed animals into bed nicely they would come alive and kill you? That was just me? Oh. 

Turns out, we all had weird beliefs as children. And over on Reddit, folks are sharing some of the “dumbest” things they thought as children. People, we weren’t dumb! We were creative! But honestly, these are hysterical. Many erroneous thoughts obviously have to do with where babies come from, but there are some other very original mistaken thoughts on the thread. Here are some of our favorite. 


“I used to think that once you finished a grade in primary school you became smarter than the teacher of that grade.” — Flippy428


“I used to believe that night is brought about by clouds – dark ones, of course. Never felt the need to clarify this with anybody, it was an obvious fact.” — mtulitu


“That if you drink while peeing you’ll keep peeing until you stop drinking.” — RandellX


“That all companies with a ‘TM’ (Trademark) were owned by my family, only because those are my initials.” — CHOGIWADDLE


“I was under the impression that there were tiny rats that lived inside of my stomach and when they ran in their wheels for exercise it would make me need to pee.” — ajones321


“I thought that highways functioned like Airport Moving Walkways.” — michhoffman


“I believed hamburger and hotdog buns were only available for restaurants, not “civilians”. Mom used sliced bread (toasted to obliterate the gums) at home to make burgers and hotdogs. I believed that until the age of 10.” — chamel321


“I thought that there would be a baby inside every girl’s stomach as soon as she is born and inside that baby’s stomach too there would be a tiny baby(the cycle goes on and on)and that the baby keeps growing as we grow and after getting married the doctors will cut the stomach and take the baby out to make space for another baby.” — DisastrousContact


“I was very very young and I blame wizard of oz but I believed that a tornado was just one big phenomenon that continuously happened and spun from state to state country to country. I also live in the south so we have frequent tornado warnings so I vaguely remember a time we had two or three warnings in one week and I was scared the “single tornado” would come to our town and never go away.” — ExistentialMeg


“I used to believe that people that spoke other languages translated their language to mine in their head.” — pretor1133

Patricia Grisafi

Patricia Grisafi, PhD, is a freelance writer and educator. Her work has appeared in Salon, Vice, Bitch, Bustle, Broadly, The Establishment, and elsewhere. She is passionate about pit bull rescue, cursed objects, and designer sunglasses.