Patricia Grisafi
Parenting is hard. Just when you think you have a grasp on one thing, you find out that you never did. And then there’s something else, and something else, and something else. Armed with all the best intentions and tons of parenting advice, we fail. But don’t get too bummed out.
The lessons you try to impart to your children may eventually sink in, even if it feels like everything has temporarily backfired. On Reddit, parents are sharing the lessons they feel that their kids did not get at all — so take comfort in the fact that you are not alone.
1. The Value of Money
“I wanted to teach my son the value of money and work ethic because he kept wanting Robux…I decided it would be a great teaching moment, and a win-win opportunity as he was just getting to the age in which I think he should start doing chores around the house. He really wanted to buy some skin or something, so I created a chore chart and gave each chore a value. We established a schedule and everything.
It was working out majestically, every day without asking he was doing dishes, cleaning his room, picking up the dog poop, it was epic. Then one day, I came home and nothing had been done. I asked him ‘hey man, whats up with the dishes? Oh and go pick up the dog poop too.’ He simply replied, Nah.’ Fighting back rage, I simply said, ‘excuse me?’ He said, he made enough money over the last x days that he bought his skin and he was good now. It was hard to argue.”—dgmilo8085
2. Potty Training
“Not a parent, but my in-laws love telling this story about my fiance. He was resistant to potty training, and they eventually got him to start using the potty by telling him that he had to be out of pull-ups before a family trip to Disney World, because ‘Mickey Mouse only sees big boys and girls.’ And also who wants to log a diaper bag around Disney? Anyway, it went great, they had a great trip… and the day after they got back, he took a shit in the living room. When asked, he said “I don’t gotta use the potty cause I already saw Mickey Mouse.” They very firmly told him that if he was old enough to use logic, he was far too old for diapers, and that was the end of that.” — thatsunshinegal
3. Materialism
“When my older son was about three or four years old, we realized he was starting to act very spoiled and materialistic. We always tried to make him see how lucky he already had it, but he constantly begged us for every toy, candy, and treat he saw anywhere and everywhere.
Around that time, I came across a great photo spread that involved the photographer traveling around the world and snapping photos of different children with their most prized possessions.
Of course, the kids in the US, Canada, and Europe were mostly photographed in rooms filled with stuff. But there were also photos of children from impoverished nations, usually showing the child with only one old, dirty stuffed animal. I thought I was going to accomplish this brilliant parenting move by sitting him down and going through the photos with him.
I’d explain how the kids with rooms like his were beyond lucky and he should feel more than satisfied with all of the great stuff that he had. Then I would show him the other photos and he would finally understand that there are so many other children in the world with far less than he had. We looked through the photos and talked about each one.
We finally got to one with a little boy standing on his cot with his one possession, a well-loved, dingy-looking stuffed monkey. My son looked at if for a long time. I could see his wheels spinning. ‘Success!’ I thought. After a long bit of silence, he finally looked up at me, gave me a sweet smile and said, ‘I want that monkey.'” — forever_monstro
4. Videogames
“Not a parent but when I was around 12, my father suspected that I stayed up late playing videogames, even though I didn’t. One night he went into my room and told me that I shouldn’t play my Game Boy Advance past bedtime, because I needed to rest. That’s when I realized I could play my Game Boy Advance past bedtime, and I’ve suffered from insomnia since then.” — Monfo
5. 911
“Saw a clip on local news about a toddler saving her mom’s life by calling 911 when she collapsed. Figured it was a good idea to teach my toddler 911. Had two cops at my door 5 minutes later.” — relevant_tangent
6. Try, Try, Try
“When my daughter was 10, she wanted to try out for a community theater version of Beauty and the Beast. She got nervous though, and almost backed out, because she was so sure she wasn’t going to make it. My husband, who did some acting in high school, stepped in and said that he would also audition, even though he knew he was never going to make it.
He wanted to demonstrate to her that it’s okay to audition for something that you don’t think you’re going to make. She ended up not only just making it, but she got the part of Chip. My husband got the part of Maurice, Belle’s father. He didn’t even want to be in a goddamn play.” — chipdipper99
7. Manners
“My aunt and uncle were trying to teach my cousin manners, and wanted him to address people as Mr and Mrs. They used each other as examples, and consequently were known as Mr. Iannuccilli for ~ 2 months. One of the funniest moments of my life was hearing my uncle describe how in the middle of the night instead of ‘dad’ he started hearing ‘Mr Iannuccilli!’ Cracks me up every time.” — AphrodesiacBirds
8. Listen Up
My youngest boy would never listen, and he was always totally fearless. He was also always really lucky. Damn near every time either of us told him ‘don’t do that, you’re going to get hurt,’ he would do it and then not get hurt. So we ended up teaching him that when we said not to do something, that probably meant it was a fun thing to do.
I remember really hoping that he would fall and break an arm or something non-life threatening or disabling like that so he would stop constantly giving us heart attacks, which is weird to say as a parent but it never happened so it doesn’t matter anyway.
He never got anything worse than a small scrape or cut that could be cleaned and covered in five minutes before he was back at it again. Looking back I’m just glad this was before there was anything like Jackass around to further encourage that sh*t. Now he’s a stunt man for movies. Can’t say I’m surprised.” — Zarokima
9. Reasons
“Told my children they should always have a good reason for what they want to do as a way to curb impulsive behavior. Am hearing about ALL THE REASONS constantly.” — Shanisasha
10. Eat All The Food
“My dad tried to implement the whole you MUST eat ALL the food on your plate in our house during meals. My mom was never a fan of that lesson, but my dad was stubborn so she just let it go. Well, one day my sibling had 2-3 bites of food left on their plate and was very clear that they were absolutely full and couldn’t eat another bite.
Dad wasn’t having it and insisted they could not leave the table until all the food on their plate was gone. My sibling realized they weren’t going to convince our dad that they were too full and finished the last few bites and then proceeded to vomit on the table and our dad. He stopped enforcing the rule after that.” — catastrophichysteria
11. Stranger Danger
“When I was about 2 years old my family was at a game in Angel’s stadium. My mother went to the restroom and left me and my siblings with my dad. While he was busy watching I wandered off. When they eventually found me I was halfway around the stadium. A crowd had gathered to watch as a police officer held me out at arms length while I screamed ‘call the police, this man is not my daddy’ over and over again. My parents had taught me stranger danger, but forgot to teach me what police look like.” — ghode
12. Writing On The Wall
“Not a parent, but as a child I noticed my sister was writing her name on the walls when she was drawing on them with crayon. Taking on the role of Helpful Big Sister, I informed her if she was going to graffiti things she shouldn’t write her name and give herself away. A few weeks later, she was carving patterns into the wooden desk in the study and carved my name into it instead.” — [deleted]
13. Compliments
“Taught my now 16 year old to always compliment people who insulted you. We were in a Burlington Coat Factory in Michigan when my mother was shopping for a bathing suit to take to Florida. There were few to choose from, so she was complaining. My kid was 4. A woman trying on pants and said something rude to my mom who was asking my opinion and my daughter caught on that my mother was agitated. She squeezed out behind me and told the woman, ‘Your teeth are such a pretty yellow!'” — berthejew
14. Chores
“I tried the whole ‘have your kids quote chores for pay and bid against one another.’ It’s supposed to teach them about working for their money and not expecting handouts like an allowance. It turned into every time I asked them to do something I good ‘how much will you pay me?'” — BobSacramanto
15. Life Isn’t Fair
“I’ve been teaching my kids that life isn’t always fair. The tantrums when one is invited to a birthday party have been too much. It’s been helping, some. Then I was playing tic tac toe with my youngest. She covered up the column she wanted to use to win. When I told her that cheating isn’t fair and I didn’t want to play if she was going to cheat, she reminded me – ‘life isn’t fair, momma.’ Touche, kiddo.” —miseleigh
16. Say Cheese
“Not me but my dad teaching the nephew. He hated smiling so in pictures my dad would tell him to say ‘whiskey.’ When he tried cheese it wasn’t the same. Anyway, at school the principle was taking a picture of the class and tells everyone to say ‘cheeeeese!’ My nephew very loudly says WHISKEEEY.” — anon_2326411
17. Beer
“My parents did the thing where they gave 4-year-old me a sip of Budweiser under the impression that I could say that it was yucky and then turn it into some lesson about not drinking Mommy and Daddy drinks, or whatever. I instead took a sip and said ‘Mmm! Can I have one?’ The lesson that beer is good has lasted to adulthood.” — drinkmoreshowerbeer
18. How Are Babies Born
“When my son was about 3 or 4 he started to ask about how babies are born. I sat him down and gave him a very simple, age appropriate explanation. He just looked at me, shook his head and said just said ‘No.’ Very calmly but in a ‘I can’t believe you think that’s how it works’ tone of voice like I’d told him fake news.
I was prepared for difficult questions and even prepared for the fact that he might ask me things that even I didn’t know, but I was completely unprepared for him to just simply not believe me when I told him the truth. I just sat there not knowing what to do while he went back to playing lego.” — Waitingforadragon
19. Pets
“My kids were begging for a pet. I don’t want to take care of a pet, and I told them that they don’t clean up after themselves without me hassling them, so why would they clean up after a pet without me hassling them. Told them if they could keep their room clean for 6 months without me telling them, they could get a pet. Youngest child proceeds to clean room, then move clothes and a sleeping bag into the hallway and lock his door so his room can’t get dirty as he sleeps in the hallway.” — DONT_PM_ME_BREASTS
20. Accidents
“One of my 5 year old twins was still having occasional accidents because she would get so caught up in playing/doing something else that she just wouldn’t go and would pee her pants. To combat this we would give her a special prize of some variety when she wouldn’t have an accident. This, in turn, caused her twin sister to START having accidents so she could get prizes for not having accidents (even though she was fine on this front beforehand.) We had to rethink our methods.” — KyleRichXV
Featured Image: Pexels
