Aimeé
11.
Him: I don’t have a question.
Me: Oh! Okay! Goodnight lovie.
Him: But I put something in the sink.
Me: Wait, what?
Him: I found it outside. It’s part of a lizard tail. By tomorrow, it will grow back into a lizard.
Me: ….I see your logic.— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 10, 2020
12.
Him: (yelling) MOM, DO YOU KNOW WHAT HELL IS?
……
Him: (yelling) IS MAGIC REAL? IS A MAGIC TRICK A TRICK?
….
Him: (grumbling) Well now I am thinking about if the sun is just lava.
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 11, 2020
13.
Him: (praying) and thank you God for snakes, Amen.
Me: Goodnight sweetie.
Him: But what is the difference between an ogre and a troll?
….
Him: Are you not answering because you don’t believe in Big Foot?
….
Him: (whispering) ….because he is *reaaaaaaaaaaall*— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 16, 2020
14.
Me: love you sweetie. Night.
Him: goodnight. To all the crystals.
Me: okay
Him: who was the first person to ever find a crystal?
Me: goodnight love.
Him: in a caaaaaaaaaaaave with maaaaaaaany secrets.
Me: I don’t know how to explain you to other people.— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 17, 2020
15.
Me: you did a great job reading. Night love.
Him: why do they call it a li-bary? (library)
Me: night sweetie
Him: Because people lieeeeeeeeeee…. they lie about the li-bary?
Him: MOM COME BACK WHY ARE THEY LYING? ARE THEY LYING ABOUT THE BOOKS OR WHAT?!?
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 18, 2020
16.
Him: before you try to put me to bed I am talking to you about my pet.
Me: you don’t have a pet, hon.
Him: I knew you would be reeeeeaaaally scared. you don’t even have to see it.
Me: ….. are you telling me
Him: I HID HIM.
Me: (to husband) PLEASE COME IN HERE
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 19, 2020
17.
Me: Night lovie
Him: Does God sleep? Does God sleep on another planet? God didn’t make me Mom. You made me. With your body. And when I came out we looked at each and it was LOVE MOM. I love wolves. Can we make a wolf? With a collar? With a crystal on the collar? Tomorrow? Wolfs?
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 19, 2020
18.
Him: Mom, can we talk about boats?
Me: one thing and then eyes closed
Him: OKAY (deep breath) because pirates are REAL and are alive NOW. But mostly they killed a-chother or were killed by GIANT SQUIDS or monsters that (giant arms) SQUEEZE BOATS AND CRUSH THEM. Sigh. Goodnight.
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 20, 2020
19.
Me: you are a wonderful boy
Him: but I don’t know what blueberries smell like
Me: try tomorrow
Him: how do pirates feel when they walk on land? Weird?
Me: not sure. goodnight
Him: dinner tonight was bad. i mean, BAD
Me: NOT NICE BUD
Him: (kisses my nose) but good try, mom
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 22, 2020
20.
Him: Mom, sometimes I am so scared of the Yeti. Not the Loch Ness, that is fine. But the Yeti..
Me: You’re safe. Love you sweetie. Night. (leaves)
Him: Yes, but have you ever been bitten by a tiger?
Him: But you’ve been bitten by a wolf? A bear?
—
Him: SO THAT’S A YES?!!!
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 22, 2020
