Me: "You didn't even notice my hair!"
Logan: "I'm not married to you…not my job!" #ShitMyKidsSay
— Tara Dutkiewicz (@FoodieAndFamily) October 2, 2015
My 11yo wrote me an apology for misbehaving in the car that included "I love you so much but sometimes forget to care about your existence."
— A Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) April 27, 2016
(Man hobbles into grocery store using a cane)
5: HEY MOM THAT MAN IS USING A WALKING STICK BC HIS BONES AREN'T STRONG & HE'LL DIE SOON RIGHT
— Sweatpants Cher ⚫️ (@House_Feminist) June 3, 2016
Me: Please get dressed.
9yo: But you're still in your pajamas!
Me: I AM dressed.
9yo: Is that what you're calling [waves palm at me] this?
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) September 1, 2016
Me: We all make mistakes.
5: Even you?
5: Oh yeah! Like when you're trying to cook food that tastes good but then it doesn't?
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 15, 2016
Me: *sings along to radio*
3yo: why don't you let it sing all by itself?
— Melissa McCartney (@ToastyGiraffe) November 26, 2016
Me: "Did you realize I'm the best dad in the house?"
My 13 yr-old: "Yeah, but you're also the worst dad in the house."
— Stuff My Kids Say (@StuffMyKidsSay3) May 7, 2017
7yo: Why can't I have coffee?
Me: It'll make u even more energetic than u already are
7: But u drink it all the time& u never have energy!
— Salty Mermaid Entertainment (@saltymermaident) August 13, 2016
7yr old daughter walked in the room, casually confirmed, "You have to have a backstory to why you're evil, right?" And walked out.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) January 24, 2016
7yo: I could see you and my teacher getting married.
Me: I'm married to your mom.
7yo: Well you could get a divorce.
(My 7yo is savage af.)
— The Dad (@thedad) September 1, 2016