It can be stressful deciding what kind of wedding to have — and if that wedding should involve little ones. Some couples love the idea of having kids at their special day, and other couples would prefer a more adult event (some parents also love having a night to themselves where they can kick back without the kids).
But one Redditor who decided on a child-free wedding found himself bucking up against a brother who refused to respect his wishes.
And the brother eventually got kicked out of the wedding.
“My wife and I got married days ago. We decided the wedding will be child free. We thought this was the best option considering several factors from budget to keeping the order, etc. Everyone got an invitation but my biggest concern was how my brother Ramsey 36 was going to react. Ramsey married young and has 4 kids that he takes everywhere he and his wife go. They’re always there at every family event. The kids are grade A, hyper active to say the least.”
“I gave Ramsey the invitation in person and he read it out loud in a sarcastic tone then said “child free, ha?” I nodded and he got somewhat mad saying “Are you serious?, But my children never been excluded from any event big or small let alone their own uncle’s wedding.” I said I’m sorry but it’s already been decided and everyone had to follow the rules not just him. He stared off for a minute then to my surprise he said ” I totally get it man, no children means no children, no worries” I was glad he didn’t start an argument over it and seemed to accept the rule.”
On the day of the wedding, however, Ramsey and his wife showed up with all the kids. The OP went to meet him and told him to take the kids home, as that was not the agreed-upon plan.
“He loudly asked wtf was wrong with me. I asked why he brought his kids and who said it was ok. He said no one but he was planning on bringing the kids all along and figured that by initially agreeing to my rule then showing up with the kids anyway would get me to agree on letting them stay. I stated this was no event for kids for many reasons and that everyone respected the rule except him.”
“I told him he needed to leave then. Not only did he call me a lunatic but a terrible brother and terrible uncle. He also called me a simp for agreeing to my wife’s “stupid” rule saying if that was him and his wife even hinted he couldn’t have the family’s kids at their wedding he would’ve dropped her right there right then. It was humiliating and loud enough for the guests to notice. My in-laws did too. I told him to leave that’s when my mom and aunt tried to convince me to let it go and let them stay, but I refused and had him leave after a massive argument between us.”
Of course, like in all these situations, the OP’s family is giving him grief for his choice. Did the OP do the right thing or should he have let his brother stay?
“As a parent, I hate people like the brother so much. Makes the rest of us parents look like idiots. I didn’t even read it, and I will say NTA. Childfree is child free FFS. Get a sitter. Damn. Quit pushing your kids down people’s throats,” said UDontKnowMe__206.
“You won’t forget that day ever. It was the day your brother decided his wants were more important than your specific requests on your wedding day. Your brother explicitly told you his plan was to blatantly ignore your request to try and force you to Just Accept It. NTA, and tell your parents that if they keep supporting someone who deliberately tried to ruin your wedding then they will have permanently f*cked up their relationship with you,” noted SadCapybaraInSand.
“Not to mention insulted OP and his wife. Did the family miss this??? They seem the type to sweep things under the rug in the name of peace and that’s really worrying,” observed BunnyBunCatGirl.
“NTA. Your wedding, your choice. Your brother tried to strong arm you into letting his kids attend by lying about respecting your wishes and then showing up with his kids figuring that he would call your bluff and get his way. You did the right thing by standing your ground and insisting that he leave. If he truly felt disrespected by your child free wedding, then he should have chosen not to attend, but he chose to make a scene instead. You have done nothing wrong here and your family telling you that you should have given in to your brother’s boundary stomping are also TA here,” said Consistent-Leopard71.
“NTA. He didn’t just disrespect the simple request, he went out of his way to deceive you about it. He was hoping you would let him bring the kids to avoid a scene. Everything about his behavior is terrible and you were right to ask him to leave,” said A_Halsted.
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