Patricia Grisafi
Sharing household chores is something every couple needs to deal with. Whether you have a schedule or some kind of system, chances are there will be something that pops up and upsets the balance.
On Reddit, one lawyer would prefer to hire a cleaning professional to deal with a nasty shower issue while his wife does not want someone in the house during this time.
However, the OP also refuses to just clean the shower himself.
“I (32M) live with my wife (30F) of 2 years. We have a shower stall that only I use, and a bath that only my wife uses. The shower stall has accumulated some rust and I’m really not bothered by it, but my wife wanted it cleaned as it’s bothering her. She asked me to clean it, as I’m the only one who uses the shower,” the OP said.
“I said that I would hire a cleaner to come by and deal with it. The reason for this is that I am a lawyer, I have the ability to take on as much work as I want, and if I spent the time it would take to clean the shower instead doing my job for compensation, I would make about four times as much money as it would cost to hire a cleaner. In my view it simply does not make economic sense for me to use my time personally cleaning the shower.”
“My wife refused to let me hire someone to clean, saying she doesn’t want a stranger coming into our house and doing menial labor that I’m ‘too lazy’ to do. She finds this embarrassing. I refused to budge and my wife ended up just cleaning the shower herself, although begrudgingly and she’s giving me grief for it. Who is in the wrong here?”
Just clean the shower, dude!
Redditors did not have too much sympathy for this individual.
“‘The reason for this is that I am a lawyer.’ No, the reason for this is that YTA. This is your winning argument, that your time is too valuable to clean the shower? I hope that you are a better lawyer than you are a husband,” said Jonny-Pasadena.
“YTA and it’s not because you’re behaving like a stereotype of a pompous lawyer or refusing to clean (the economic point about hiring out cleaning is actually a good point). It’s because you seem to think that your preference to pay someone to do something for you should outrank your wife’s discomfort with having a stranger in your house, and when you failed to understand that your wife has just as much of a right to say who can come into your house as you do, you tried to make it about something else (your rack rate) instead of maintaining a respectful domestic relationship,” explained 10zingNorgay.
“YTA, Especially in covid times, doing something for your wife not only shows her that you’re attentive and listening but that you care about her feelings toward things, even though only you use the shower and don’t mind the rust doesn’t mean she’s not entitled to a clean bathroom. It’s some rust! Half a day max if you’re smart about it, not a damn remodeling job. Get off your high horse, please,” said sluttybiscuits.
“I think ESH because she wanted the shower cleaned and you offered a solution, but she refused your offer. However, maybe that would’ve been the time to discuss hiring a cleaner to relieve her of some duties as well, since a cleaner would have been relieving you of duties? She’s probably a little sour that you can decide to hire a cleaner to clean up after you and not her,” said StephMess18.
Luckily, the OP came to the conclusion that he should be asking his wife if she needs more help around the house:
“She definitely does more around the house than me, and has done so without complaint so I never thought there was an issue. I’m going to ask her if there’s anything I can do to make her life easier because after reading comments here I think it came across as me wanting to relieve myself of household chores but not relieve her of it similarly (which wasn’t my intention).”
Featured Image: Pexels
