AITA

Woman Walks In On Boyfriend’s Roommate, Sees Him Naked, And Wants An Apology

Living with a roommate can be difficult—especially when you clash with their significant other or discover that your privacy is no longer as sacrosanct as you thought.

One Redditor was getting dressed when his roommate’s girlfriend barged in the room, looking for the bathroom. Unfortunately, she saw him naked, and it freaked her out. She wants an apology, but the OP doesn’t think he did anything wrong. 

“My roommate (21m) and I (20m) aren’t close friends but we live together because it’s convenient for both of us. He has a new girlfriend and lately she’s been staying over a lot. Our apartment has two bathrooms, I’m saying this because it’s relevant later, one is in my room and the other one is in the hall. I use the one in my bedroom and he uses the other one,” the OP writes. 

“Yesterday, I was just out of the shower and walking around in my room naked, trying to find clothes and other stuff cause I’m messy, when his girlfriend barges into my room without even knocking. I do generally lock my room, but it’s never been a big deal because my roommate never comes in w/o knocking. Also, I did not know this girl was in the house. I’d have made sure to lock the door then. Obviously she went like WTF and ran out.” 

“Then she was very cross with me, and seemed to think that I owed her an apology because she saw me naked and it made her very uncomfortable. I was nope, you walked into my room w/o knocking, what you see or didn’t see after that is NOT my fault. At all. Her explanation was that the other bathroom was busy and she just wanted to use the one in my bedroom. She’s involved roommate into this and he too thinks that I should apologise because I shouldn’t have been walking around in my room naked without locking the door first. I’ve refused to apologise.” 

What do Redditors think? Should he just apologize because she was upset? Or stand his ground and assert boundaries? 

“You were in your own space and she barged in. She should apologize to you,” said offmhchest. 

“Piggybacking to point out that she barged in to use OP’s bathroom, which isn’t for her to use. Sounds like she has a habit of secretly using OP’s bathroom without permission. OP, lock your door when you’re not at home,” advised saucynoodlelover. 

“NTA, and you should be wary. It’s interesting that she’s decided to be ‘cross’ with you, and dragged your roommate into this. I may be off, but it’s the kind of thing someone does when they are trying to create an imbalance so as to become dominant. She put you in a bad position, then demanded you apologize. Why? Because once she can push you off balance (make you apologize for something she did) then she can keep pushing and pushing, knowing it works. Eventually you’ll find yourself sitting down with them as they tell you how it’s going to be. You need to nip this in the bud immediately. The only thing you need to apologize for is not understanding that she needs reasonable boundaries spelled out to her in small, easy to understand words. ‘Knock first, knock always’ ‘wait for an answer.’ ‘No answer, no enter.’ ‘You don’t live here, don’t tell me what to do in my own room,'” suggested ScammerC. 

“What tf kind of entitlement makes her think it’s ok to use OP’s en-suite? If a roommates SO came in my room FOR ANY REASON I would consider that a MASSIVE invasion of my privacy. Bedrooms are NOT part of the shared accommodations, and should NEVER be entered without express permission. Full stop,” said lmdelint. 

“She owes you an apology. To be honest I think it’s ridiculous she was even trying to use your bathroom. When I’ve visited people who have a flat with that set up only guests of the person with the en suite would ever use the en suite. The one in the hall is more debatable, but that’s the benefit you get from having the en suite room,” said VisiblePiano0.

What would you advise the OP to do (aside from getting a lock)?

Lead image via Pixabay.

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Patricia Grisafi

Patricia Grisafi, PhD, is a freelance writer and educator. Her work has appeared in Salon, Vice, Bitch, Bustle, Broadly, The Establishment, and elsewhere. She is passionate about pit bull rescue, cursed objects, and designer sunglasses.