Have you ever been accused of “not being enough” of your ethnicity? It’s kind of a weird insult to launch, but people find ways to be cruel to people they consider “lesser than” because they are of mixed race.
On Reddit’s AITA forum, one young woman who is of Sioux heritage on her father’s side wrote about being mocked by her cousin for being too light-skinned. But, to the cousin’s surprise, the OP had a family secret up her sleeve.
“My (18f) grandfather was a full blooded Sioux Native American. He had two sons, my dad and my uncle. My uncle had a daughter named K (17). All of them except me are very dark skinned. My mom is a white lady, which turned out to be the dominant gene for me, so I am quite light skinned,” the OP writes.
The OP also says that as she got older, her dad and uncle wanted her and K to become more integrated with what is left of their tribe. They ended up visiting their grandfather’s extended family often, and K was apparently very cruel: “K was horrible to me about it every time and would tell me how stupid I am and how I’m an ‘ugly white bitch.’
“K said that I am an embarrassment to our family and to the tribe because of how light skinned I am, and that my dad is a racist towards his own people for letting me be apart of this culture. This was the first time she had ever said anything like this where they could hear it, and I finally snapped. I was done letting this girl bully me, so I told her the truth about her heritage.”
Apparently, her grandmother had an affair with the neighbor and kept the baby. The grandmother had an affair with the neighbor and kept the baby. “Grandpa loved him like a blood son anyways and brought him up the same way he did for my dad, but my uncle was aware the entire time he is an ‘honorary Indian’ (his words not mine),” the OP writes.
“K absolutely lost the plot and has completely disowned me and my dads side of the family. I haven’t heard from my uncle, and my dad said that wasn’t my story to tell, but he understands why I did it. Grandpa’s family doesn’t care, they knew the whole time. K is apparently having a major identity crisis and my uncles wife cussed me out on the phone and she’s also disowned me and my dad.”
Did the OP go too far?
“I might get downvoted but NTA. You put up with years of mistreatment from her part and finally snapped. The way that I see it, you telling her the truth is her own fault,” said EstateSimilar6099.
“I am wondering if K had a sneaking suspicion about her own paternity all her life. You know how kids sometimes overhear things that their parents think they are too young to understand? She has a huge amount of anger before this issue with OP even erupted,” observed BLG_Sydney.
“Maybe I’m biased as a hella pale mixed Native person myself, but the way K treated you and tried to make you feel as though you weren’t a part of your own people and culture… If you were an a-hole, it was a justified one,” said Tasty_Research_1869.
“I am 100% native but that is something we never say. It’s not about the percentage or the colour of your skin. My mom is full native but she can pass for Métis( half native/half french) but she’s never been insulted. You are native based on your ancestors and how you embrace your culture and try your best to follow the ways and learn your history. Being native is nothing about the colour of your skin or the percentage of native blood you have in you. Nta tho,” said sah1920.
“For years OP was told she wasn’t “Native enough” and then when her cousin tried to actively exclude her instead of just bullying her, she got a face full of reality which happened to be that she was gatekeeping the wrong race. (Which, gatekeeping a race is dumb there is no such thing as not black/native/latinx/asian enough. If you are mixed, you are beautiful, and you are valid.) NTA, OP. I would have made my adults aware of the bullying way earlier, but I understand why you maybe didn’t want to,” noted GhostofNihilism.
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