Patricia Grisafi
As a person who deeply values her therapist, I would be shattered if I found out she was divulging information to outside sources. Therapist-patient confidentiality should only be broken if there is a serious risk, like imminent bodily harm to the patient or to someone else.
Complaining about your stepmother and grieving your dead mother does not count.
One Redditor who found herself in a situation in which her therapist was blabbing about their sessions to her step-mother is now pondering whether or not to report this therapist for violating her code of ethics.
(The answer is, of course, yes. You should report this therapist.)
“I (20f) lost my mom in 2018 in a car accident. It was sudden it was devastating and I had no one to turn to for support. My dad married my stepmom a year later. I currently live with them preparing for medical school. I have to say I’m not that excited to start because I have a lot of unresolved grief and needed to talk.”
The OP explains that her stepmom has been trying to replace her mom and that it feels very obvious.
The OP says that her stepmom is controlling and tries to insert herself into every part of her life. When the OP told her father she wanted to see a therapist to help her work through her grief, her stepmother said she would take care of it.
“I have been in therapy for two months now. However lately I noticed my stepmom wanting to talk to me about things that I regularly bring up in therapy to my therapist. She’d bluntly ask questions about things I said in therapy,” the OP said.
“When I asked how she knew she admitted that the therapist told her. I was shocked. She went on about why I shouldn’t hate her and respect her more and ‘get rid’ of the negativity and just accept and try to adapt to this new normal. I had no response, but I was mad I yelled at her and told her she had no right to police my words and get involved in personal manners. My dad said I shouldn’t yell because my stepmom was just worried about me and wanted to make sure I was making progress in therapy. I left the kitchen. I decided to stop seeing my therapist the next day I told her about what my stepmom said and told her that I’ll be reporting her for breaking confidentiality.”
Breaking confidentiality when there is no risk of harm to the patient or another person is a definite violation of a therapists’ ethics. Do Redditors think the OP is doing the right thing?
“Report her and get as far away from these people as you can. You should be able to talk to your therapist without worrying. Find one who doesn’t know her at all. I’m so sorry,” said DemonicSymphony.
“Report her as soon as possible. Don’t change your mind. Confidentiality is one of the most important parts of her job. If she can’t do that she isn’t qualified to be a therapist. Report her in writing to the medical board of your state if you’re in the US. There should be a link on their website. I’m sorry that you went to someone for help, and they betrayed your trust. Most professionals will not do this. Find another therapist. It does sound like you need someone to talk to in regards to grief surrounding the loss of your mother, pressures involved with school, and difficulties in your home life. Find this person on your own through your insurance provider or general practitioner,” advised Cynnzilla.
“I studied psychology for six years, including three years looking at psychological therapies. They drill into us the importance of privacy and confidentiality. By breaking confidentiality she put her own career on the line, and to be frank you owe it yourself and her other patients to report her for that. She knows the rights and wrongs of being a therapist, and she made the wrong choice and should suffer the consequences, otherwise she’ll continue to do this and get away with it. Your stepmom was way out of line and should have kept her nose out. If she wants your trust, she’s doing a really rubbish job of earning that. If she wants a healthy relationship with you she needs to go about it in an ethical way, and she also needs to understand that these things can’t be forced. Your dad is also in the wrong for not seeing just how messed up your therapist and stepmom acted in this situation, and he’s really let you down for that,” explained StifferThanABoner.
“Literally every person except you is an asshole. Your therapist for breaking the law by giving out patient information. Your father’s wife for arranging a therapist specifically to break the law by getting patient information, and for trying to be a replacement mother. You don’t need a replacement mother, you had a mother who raised you all the way to adulthood. She’s less a stepmother and m ore just your father’s wife. And your father is an asshole for excusing the illegal behavior of the therapist disclosing patient information to his wife and wanting you to just let it slide. Don’t tell them what you’re doing, just report the therapist. If you want to see a new one arrange it yourself, discuss exactly what happened with them, and set up password protection on your information. And by the way, you are not messing with the therapist’s career, they fucked their career the moment they disclosed patient information without permission. She built her own coffin, got in, laid down, and pulled the lid over herself after leaving a hammer and nails laying there. Put the nail in the coffin, before she hurts anyone else,” said Alert-Potato.
Sounds like good advice to me!
Lead image: Pexels
