Ruin My Week
Everybody watches porn. Whether you admit it or not, you must have, at some point in your life watched some sort of pornographic film in your lifetime.
Out of curiosity when you were young, looking for pointers (not recommended, these people are paid, ‘actors’ after all), because it’s insanely easy to access on the internet, or most commonly, to get your deed done.
For most of us normies, the porn industry seems like a raunchy, sexy, fantasy land full of the most sexually advanced humans (hopefully) on the planet. Guys love to talk about how they’d make a great porn star bangin’ all those hot chicks all day for work. But just like any job, it’s got to be hard (hehe) work.
There are serious logistical issues, some weird inter-office dynamics, and plenty of sticky situations (pun intended). If you think about it, being on the set of a skin flick would probably be less sexy and more awkward.
Redditor u/reelo69420 asked the porno pros of Reddit: “Porn photographers, what is the most awkward moment you had? What do you feel when you film? How is your job generally?”
The answers are very interesting, kind of disgusting, and absolutely hilarious. Warning: If you plan on rubbing one out today, be sure to get it out of your system BEFORE scrolling down.
Oh, also, NSFW.
1. That smell.
“I was in AA when I was 19 and I learned that my then sponsor directed porn. Being an ambitious young man I inquired about any job openings as an actor. He just shook his head and said, “You don’t actually want to do porn. It smells bad.” –mwatkins511
2. Sup.
“Former porn producer here. In gay porn (back in ‘03) the guys were straight, so they would watch straight porn. Or sometimes just stand there and jack off. On more than one occasion the guy would be jacking off and causally look at me and say “sup” while I was working. You can make the argument that he was probably gay but I was the least attractive man on that set.” –CalvinDehaze
3. Things that make you go hmm.
“One of the most awkward things was when models would show up with their boyfriends who would just be like really weird and awkward in the set background. Like it would almost always be buff military or former military dudes or wanna be MMA fighter types and they’d stand cross armed off to the side and being very encouraging to their girlfriends/boyfriends while watching them get fucked. I personally just always found that odd. I understand they came I guess to make them feel safe but some of the weird things they’d say would always make you scratch your head.” –Barry_Obama_at_gmail
4. Where did I put my keys again?
“On a straight porn set the guy was plowing the woman missionary style in between setups. The woman wanted a blanket from her car, but needed to tell me where the keys to her car were. So while getting fucked she was like “it’s in… my gym bag… side… pocket…” –CalvinDehaze
5. Someone get a mop!
“I was filming a scene with two girl’s fucking. It’s not uncommon at all to kneel / sit / lay on the bed to get better shots. One girl ended up squirting more than I’ve seen in my 30 years as a lesbian and it went all over me. Not only that but I had to stay laying in the puddle for a few minutes before I could switch angles.” –pantyraid7036
6. Thanks, dad. Good tip.
“I was in the biz back in the days right when we were starting to move from 35mm to digital, so it’s been a while. Most awkward would probably be this one female model who was in the barely 18 category. She brought her dad to the shoot and he insisted on being there during the entire thing. He was critiquing her, giving her posing tips, etc. Imagine having your dad on set giving you pointers on using a dildo, spreading those lips a little more, etc.” –ataylorm
7. Waiting for the money shot.
“The most awkward thing on every porn set is the whole crew sitting in silence watching a guy jack off. He announces when he’s about to cum and the crew, and woman/man, swing into action to get the pop shot.” –CalvinDehaze
8. Not a good look.
“I’m a photographer who has on a few occasions taken photos of porn, usually for friends who have OnlyFans. A model reached out for me for a shoot, we chatted normally and talked out some minor details. She calls me and IS IN THE MIDDLE OF TAKING A PISS completely nude and drunk off her ass. I was taken aback and told her we can just talk tomorrow. She gets upset and says that we need to talk now so she can show me her body and her tattoos. She says this as she’s wiping up.” –xerozeroxero
9. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder?
“I had to shoot the ugliest couple I have ever seen. Woman looked like a 6 ft ogre and man looked like a tiny Harry Potter with a soul patch. They had zero chemistry and she kept looking at his junk and trying to make this sultry face but it looked like she was confused and disgusted by it. They also insisted on shooting in the hot tub but she was the exact same color as the stucco behind it.” –hmcfuego
10. Pure grossness.
“The smell keeps you from becoming turned on. Male porn stars are legends for being able to stay hard with everything that is going on. As far as most awkward? Some have openly done drugs on the set and get pissy when you decline to join them. It’s more common than it should be. Generally, the job is interesting enough to stay awhile, even though it won’t pay off my visual arts degree.” –askmeifimatree1
