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20 Porn Professionals Tell Their Most Awkward Moments While Filming

11. Someone get some mayonaisse.

“A surprising number of cream pie shots are faked. Apparently it’s harder for a male performer to cum from vaginal stimulation than from just jacking off (remember, lots of viagra and hours of desensitized penis + other drugs). So, when a cream pie needs to happen and the male performer can’t do it, they use a special liquid that looks like cum and squirt it up into the vagina. Then they have the guy stick his penis in and after a few thrusts it looks like he came.” –DepressedBard

12. So. Much.

“I was once on set for a scene that involved faking accidental anal. So. Much. Poop.” –dalebilly

13. Lil nugget.

“My uncles best mate used to have his own photography business. He always mentioned a story where a woman approached him and asked him to take photos of her so she could give the album to her husband for his birthday. Fully naked pictures of her using sex toys and so on. She’d apparently been using a dildo on her ass and she was around 2 hours into the shoot. She finished with the dildo and was spreading her cheeks when a little nugget of poo came sliding out, which just so happened to be caught on camera with her showing a face of absolute horror. She got changed and left and paid for the pictures several weeks later, expect the one of the great escape.” –swimmingwithrocks

14. Some weather we’re having huh?

“I’m a makeup artist in the porn world. I’m there on set all the time so I see it all. This one time filming a gang bang, I went into a different room to clean my brushes and one guy took a break from the gang bang to come and talk to me. He was stood there naked and masturbating while asking about my job.” –delilahh

15. Take a break on your own time.

“Worked on a set as security and observed that basically Time is money: they want to get specific things on film and (at this time) photographed. That tension if things are not going smoothly or perfectly is not attractive. Production staff are simply trying to achieve all the goals and ensure they check everything off their list and one “inability” to deliver causes them a lot of stress.” –br0wnb0y

16. Get lit (properly.)

“Not photographer here, but cinematographer. When I was at the beginning of my career I accepted a proposal to work on a hard movie. After the second day of filming the director approached me and told me “it’s clear you are a good cinematographer, I love how you manager the skin tones and mood. Just one thing… in this industry it’s not only the face that we want lit correctly”. –rio_sk

17. I didn’t ask, you offered.

“I used to do behind the scenes for Adam and Eve. My friend Will Ryder, found his stars fucking off camera and was behind schedule. Another porn star Ziggy Star, was sitting next to me. I jokingly said “man seems everyone’s getting laid on set except me” (AS A JOKE) she says “ I’ll blow ya” I’m like oh my god … sure. She goes, “let me just ask my boyfriend.”

“Hey (boyfriends name), he wants to know if I can blow him?”

I was freaking out! I didn’t ask, you offered! I’m still in regular person mode where that would surely get me punched in the face. He comes over and over goes “ yeah sure just make sure you get it on camera for the BTS” So …. I did. Right out in the open in front of camera guys and Riley Reid I’m getting a BJ.

It was awkward, glorious, and one of my favorite LA stories.” –GarciaJones

18. Like. A. Python.

“Explaining the weird stuff “Like OK, we have line you two up so that she can swallow you whole, like a python….” Or “We need to stick these tracking dots to you so the software can put in the extra breasts…” or “Ok, you have make out with the mannequin, be careful not touch the back of her head it will knock the camera and mic loose” And so on.” –goblinmarketeer

19. What a mess.

“There was this one shoot where the star of the video’s mom walked in. It was a mess. She freaked out, screamed asked what she was thinking. Then she exclaimed “that’s not how you do it, this is!” and it was a really beautiful moment between mother and daughter.” –nydrewreynolds

20. What another mess.

“We had just finished shooting an anal scene with an eastern european woman. She was using a hairdryer in her rectum, unplugged of course. The only problem was that it wasn’t. She finished using the hairdryer and took it out of her behind and dropped it onto the floor. Apparently she hadn’t properly cleaned her insides enough because as soon as that thing came in contact with the floor it started blowing poop all over the room. It was vile. It wasn’t too much poop but the fact that a machine was spewing hot poop all over the room was utterly disgusting and it’s something I’ll unfortunately remember until the day I die. ” –-iCookie-

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