Bartenders know all the dirt. You might think they’re not paying attention to the weird conversations you’re having, but whether or not it’s a busy shift, bartenders are alert.
On Reddit, bartenders are sharing the strangest stuff they’ve heard while making cocktails and cleaning glasses.
And the stories range from super silly to actually bone-chilling. So, next time you’re at the bar and think of spilling some bizarre story, maybe move away from the bar.
“The first restaurant/bar i worked in I was only serving but I frequently was in the section right next to the bar. One day I was busy serving a large group, but the restaurant was mostly empty and a guy behind me at the bar said, ‘you wanna pet my parrot?’ my initial reaction was the same as if a stranger had just come up behind me and touched my shoulders but when I turned around…It really was a guy with a parrot on his shoulder. The parrot’s name was Bobby and yes both me and the bartender pet him.” — Midiblye
“I was a bartender for about two weeks (filling in for a relative who owned a bar and went on his honeymoon). I heard a guy talking to a woman about murdering her husband. I called the cops, but these patrons were gone before they showed up. This was before cameras, so I just gave my story and that was it. Not long after, my uncle calls me saying the cops are looking for me. They interview me about the couple. Apparently, the guy was a hitman for hire and the woman was trying to get some insurance money. She got busted. It was actually an episode of ‘Forensic Files’ back when that was on TV. I remember watching the episode and they said something like ‘the couple was overheard discussing the murder in a bar.’ I was kind of upset that they didn’t mention me. Lol. I was hoping for, ‘The awesome bartender overheard them, but couldn’t really tell us much. He also pointed at the male in the photo lineup and asked “Is this him?” as if he was unsure. What a f**king dope.'” — Myzyri
“A married couple in their fifties arguing how they were going to explain the fact they couldn’t pay the remainder of the 3 million euro bill for a Ferris wheel they’d ordered 18 months ago, already put a million deposit on, and who’s collection was due at 8am the following morning.” — shutuphobbes
“I was tending bar during an extremely busy happy hour. The place was mobbed and super noisy. Suddenly, a guy sitting at the bar stands up and announces, ‘Ladies and gentlemen of the bar, I represent the Acme meat company and we carry a full line of high quality…’ The entire bar goes silent while he continues to do his sales pitch at full volume. For some reason he decided that this was a great time and place to hustle up some business. My manager sprinted over to him and told him knock it off and that kind of thing wasn’t allowed in here. So he sat down and resumed drinking.” — regular6drunk7
“From a woman to her friend, ‘I don’t know about you but I just can’t poop in a pink bathroom.'” — janesfilms
“I once had to ask a woman to remove her infant from the bar top. She put them on the floor…I really don’t miss bartending.” — WhereTheWildflowersR
“Someone was boasting about his ‘Very small penis! VERY TINY! LIKE MICRO!’ he proceeds to lower his pants and show it to his friend.” — PresumeDeath
“I knew a guy that was an amazing bartender. He’s get random bs drink names all the time and he’d make them perfectly. ‘Can I get a Sexy Mosquito?’ ‘Sure, what color?’ ‘Pink.’ ‘I can do pink.’ Combines random s**t, ‘here you go.’ ‘It’s good!’ ‘Yeah I know! Just like last time!’ It was always hilarious.” — Crap_Sally
“Was tending bar at my local pub, loads of old boys used to come in and get properly razzled. One day, I am polishing glasses and they’d been day drinking and it was around 7 pm. I hear this almighty crash and turn around, one of them has fallen off their bar stool. Total silence, then one guy just loudly declares…’DIDN’T SPILL A DROP.’ The whole pub erupts with laughter, guy who fell of still stands up, tips his hat, and went home.” — Turniphead92.
“His toe was in my ass.” — Similar_Log_9547