“Don’t go to bed angry.”
“Laugh about everything.”
We’ve all heard adages about marriage – the dopey things people tell you that, presumedly, have some grain of truth floating around in there to help keep your marriage healthy and happy.
But what about “don’t keep wild secrets from your partner?”
“What is the darkest thing you have kept from your partner?”
I often think of murdering a man in a gruesome and slow, agonising death. This man was my mother’s bf for about 8 years and he was raping my sister from the age of 12 to 17. When the rest of my family found out, it was devastating. It broke my family up for 2 years afterwards.
I should point out that I would never actually do it. I have far too much to lose if I ever got caught. But the thought cheers me up if I’m ever angry and need something to help me calm down a bit.
2. A father’s confession
Her father once told me : if he could go back in time, he would never have dated her mother and have kids with her. Was pretty shocking thing to hear while on vacation with the whole step family. The guy has Asperger’s. Weird family. The girl left me cold turkey a few months later after 7 years together, and i still didn’t even think about telling her that story.
3. Just too cruel
Posted this before, but I never told my wife that her mother tried to have sex with me. It was early in our marriage when we were living with her to save money for our own place. Her marriage of 28 years had ended badly and she was emotionally fragile. She was very drunk and was absolutely horrified at what she had done when she sobered up. I promised not to ever tell my wife and I never did, even when she and I were fighting near the end of our marriage. Some things are too cruel to do, even when you’re trying to hurt each other.
I hooked up with a professor of mine in college and after that she would pimp me out to her colleagues. That’s not the label she would have given it, but that’s what it was.
5. We’re a little co-dependent
My husband and I work together and spend like 98% of our time together. We have 2 cars and I haven’t even used mine in like a year, because we are always together. We have all the same friends and hang out together. Yesterday I had to talk my husband into going to watch football with friends without me, because I had to work. Last time he worked when I was off I literally sat on the couch watching the clock. I feel so thankful that we love to spend every minute together, but I realize it’s totally unhealthy.
6. Suicidal thoughts
I was born with only one hand. I have rheumatoid arthritis in the one hand I have, and I know it’s spreading. I have osteoarthritis in my lower back and scoliosis to the point where I am most likely going to need spine surgery. I’m only 31 years old. I can’t do this for another 50+ years. I am in such bad pain now and it’s only going to get worse. I have thought of suicide but I can’t do that to my husband and kids. I don’t want my husband to turn into a care giver. I can’t envision not being able to take care of myself.
7. Mental break
I had a total mental breakdown in 2017 caused by stress. Never told anyone, it’s the worst my mental health has ever been and I’m afraid of getting like that again and not getting help.
8. How bad
Exactly how bad of a person I used to be before I met her. She knows I was into the drugs and some other dumb shit, but she doesn’t know the depths of depravity I delved to in order to fit in with the people I mistakenly wasted my time with.
Sometimes i buy a chocolate bar when i go to the grocery store and eat it before i get home…
She’s my ex now, but, she had just revealed to me some very, uh, confidential information, info I understand I’m one of only four people to know. She asked me if I have any deep secrets like that. I lied and told her I didn’t, but the truth is, my grandmother by marriage (no blood relation) sexually harassed and abused me as a preteen and teenager. Literally nobody irl knows. I’ve never told anyone.
She farts in her sleep like a wild bear.
I’m from south Louisiana and my dad is in a Mardi Gras Crew. Every year he’s on a float throwing beads.
My husband has never been to Mardi Gras so his first time he was so excited and it was at my dad’s parade. Normally people on the floats throw the “good beads” to kids or women that will flash them.
I told my husband that if you yell “throw me something mister!” loud enough the people on the float will give you the “good beads.”
I told my dad and he told his float buddies, when their float came around my husband was screaming like a banshee “THROW ME SOMETHING MISTER!”
My dad and his friend pelted my husband with their best beads. When we were leaving the parade my husband was flexing all his nice new beads and thinks Mardi Gras is the best thing ever.
Didn’t have the heart to tell him that I told my dad to do that. He just thinks that because he was so enthusiastic, he got all the good stuff.
13. A shark tooth
He wanted to find a shark tooth so badly after I found one at the beach. So I went and bought a small bottle of shark teeth from the gift shop, spread them out all over a strip of beach we were hanging at and marveled at every shark tooth he brought me. I can never tell him the truth.
14. The dress
Not that dark, but I really really did not like her wedding dress…
My father is an AIDS patient,he did not reveal it to anyone and married my mom.And as a result I was born,unaffected,my mother also is unaffected.(happened in 2002)
16. Childhood struggles
Not my gf now, but she didn’t know the extent or details of my childhood struggles. she knew I grew up in the projects up until age 10, but I think because i never wore it like a badge of honor or carried myself in the stereotypical way of someone who would come from that environment, many people think i was unaffected. and i never bothered to share those details because i never wanted to make a sob story out of a situation that i was blessed to get out of and that many people are still currently in. but that living situation has taken a toll on me in various ways that’d i love to expound upon for those who are interested.
I was sexually abused throughout my entire childhood and early teens. I’ve told one person this that I got close to earlier and I woke up with her gone from my apartment. It really messed me up since I trusted that woman.
18. Dying fast
That I’m dying faster than she thinks I am.
I’m prone to addiction and I abuse my Adderall prescription.
20. I’m not pretty enough
That there is literally nothing about myself that I actually like and I honestly have no idea what he sees in me. My body is a mess, I try and (over)compensate by being the best partner I can be. I don’t like my face, my scars, my skin, my body, the way nothing really works at any given time. I’ve managed to get to a neutral view of myself – “meh” if you will.