Kate Hackett
Here come the zingers! Thanks to u/Kingjosho777 we have some great answers to the question:
“What is your favorite insult?”
Let’s dive in!
1. Gifted
The first time I heard this was in GTA: SA, CJ randomly yells it at people he crashed into:
Are you a professional moron? Or just a gifted amateur?
2. Parents
I bet your parents try to change the subject when their friends ask how you’re doing.
3. Hard to Want
Why are you playing so hard to get when you’re already hard to want?
4. Low Bar
You are impossible to underestimate.
5. Who?
I never forget a face, but I’ll make an exception just for you.
6. My Evening
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
7. Human equivalent
You are the human equivalent of a participation award.
8. Low Bars
I expected nothing and I’m still disappointed.
9. Thumbs
When I was a kid, my father said this about one of my more dim-witted friends:
“That kid is so dumb, if he fell into a bucket of tits, he’d come out sucking his thumb!”
I don’t know what cracked me up more – how funny of a phrase it was, or the fact that it rhymed.
10. Dorothy Fucking Parker!
When informed that Calvin Coolidge had died, Dorothy Parker quipped: “How could they tell?”
11. Shitbag
My kindergartner can barely read or write but managed to perfectly spell “shitbag” on a note he slipped under his sister’s door. I’ve saved the note for when he gets married and it’s now my favorite insult.
12. Flawed
You’re just a collection of personality flaws masquerading as a person.
13. Absolute Misfortune
I once heard a guy in Ireland refer to his child as ”you absolute misfortune”.
Just really stuck with me, it’s a great line XD
14. My heart
Mr. Rogers would be disappointed in you. – Zbignich
“I don’t want you to be my neighbor” – send_boobie_pics
15. Schooling
“I’m thinking you weren’t burdened with an over-abundance of schooling” from Firefly.
16. Drill Sarge
When I was in basic training, I had a drill sergeant call one of the other guys in my platoon a “waste of a perfectly good blowjob.” Hands down my favorite insult for someone.
17. Sad, Strange.
You’re a sad, strange little man and you have my pity. Farewell.
18. Not Bob!
Bob Ross said you’re a mistake.
