People Are Sharing Their Favorite Insults (18 Posts)

Here come the zingers! Thanks to u/Kingjosho777 we have some great answers to the question:

“What is your favorite insult?”

Let’s dive in!


1. Gifted

The first time I heard this was in GTA: SA, CJ randomly yells it at people he crashed into:

Are you a professional moron? Or just a gifted amateur?

Inshabel

2. Parents

I bet your parents try to change the subject when their friends ask how you’re doing.

cyainanotherlifebro

3. Hard to Want

Why are you playing so hard to get when you’re already hard to want?

hihohiho-

4. Low Bar

You are impossible to underestimate.

Tummerd

5. Who?

I never forget a face, but I’ll make an exception just for you.

Coquatrix

6. My Evening

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

GrouchosMoustache

7. Human equivalent

You are the human equivalent of a participation award.

HipsterCactus

8. Low Bars

I expected nothing and I’m still disappointed.

gt_assassin_d3m0n

9. Thumbs

When I was a kid, my father said this about one of my more dim-witted friends:

“That kid is so dumb, if he fell into a bucket of tits, he’d come out sucking his thumb!”

I don’t know what cracked me up more – how funny of a phrase it was, or the fact that it rhymed.

VictorBlimpmuscle

10. Dorothy Fucking Parker!

When informed that Calvin Coolidge had died, Dorothy Parker quipped: “How could they tell?”

FoxyInTheSnow

11. Shitbag

My kindergartner can barely read or write but managed to perfectly spell “shitbag” on a note he slipped under his sister’s door. I’ve saved the note for when he gets married and it’s now my favorite insult.

Deathbycheddar

12. Flawed

You’re just a collection of personality flaws masquerading as a person.

drone42

13. Absolute Misfortune

I once heard a guy in Ireland refer to his child as ”you absolute misfortune”.

Just really stuck with me, it’s a great line XD

Skeknir

14. My heart

Mr. Rogers would be disappointed in you. – Zbignich

“I don’t want you to be my neighbor” – send_boobie_pics

15. Schooling

“I’m thinking you weren’t burdened with an over-abundance of schooling” from Firefly.

stetzwebs

16. Drill Sarge

When I was in basic training, I had a drill sergeant call one of the other guys in my platoon a “waste of a perfectly good blowjob.” Hands down my favorite insult for someone.

SSGSS_Retasu

17. Sad, Strange.

You’re a sad, strange little man and you have my pity. Farewell.

goatman2112

18. Not Bob!

Bob Ross said you’re a mistake.

Bokb3o