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Men Are Sharing The Best Insults They’ve Have Ever Heard (20 Zingers)

We’ve all heard ’em. Schoolyard or otherwise, insults can come flying in our direction. Some are *chef’s kiss* beautiful (looking at you, middle school girl who told me, a redhead, my legs were “too pale” for shorts) and some heave a mighty sting.

When u/ShotOverTheSide asked Reddit’s AskMen community for “the best insult you’ve ever heard,” they delivered.


1. F*ckup

Mine was “What a f*ckup. You could dunk that boy in a barrel of tits and he’d come out sucking his thumb.”

“I will replace you with a button.”

“You must believe in reincarnation. Nothing could become as stupid as you in just one lifetime.” u/ShotOverTheSide

2. At a job site

“Terry, having you around is like losing three good men.” StrykerSeven

3. The Boss

My boss once said “I’m only allowed to tell 1 customer a year to f*ck off and I’m not wasting it on you” Relxnce

4. Foreman

I heard a foreman one time when told to take someone to a jobsite with him say “Can’t I take a stool instead? At least I can stand on a stool.” PeePeeMcGee123

5. Ouch

You’re not completely worthless, you can always be used as a bad example agentaurange

6. Car Injuries

Strong like bull, smart like tractor. DasPuggy

7. Mouth burn

I heard someone remark about someones mouth by stating they had uppercase gums and lowercase teeth. ohlaph

8. Inferiority Complex

Your crippling inferiority complex is fully justified. Lokyyo

9. Cook fight

Two of my cooks a long time ago were in a fight and someone said to the other “you are the human version of a mustard stain on a wife beater.” maxbisinnocent

10. Jealousy

“I’m jealous of everyone who’s never met you.” JRad8888