Got a Tinder horror story? One of those gag-worthy, “oh my god, how is this even possibility reality?” situations where you cannot rip your jaw off the floor? Yeah. We’ve apparently all been there. Such is the new norm when we’re using small digital screens to make a genuine human connection. There’s bound to be some super weirdos out there who probably shouldn’t be allowed into the dating market.
The user MysticPato asked Reddit users what their horror stories were—and wow, were there some ick-fest answers. Where, you might ask, did these humans even come from? The answer is hell. They’re from hell itself.
“I’ve only gone on one Tinder date, we talked for a bit and I agreed to pick her up at Starbucks. She looked nothing like her pictures, but I thought I should be nice and at least hang out with her for a bit. We went to her place and the entire house reeked like cat pee. Like saturated. Then as she proceeded to show me her massive collection of animal tail butt plugs, she screamed at her chihuahua and smacked it right on the nose and without missing a beat just asks if I want to make out on the couch. I awkwardly sat down and pretended to look at my phone and made up that my grandma was dying so I could GTFO.”—VerySmallSquares
“So I met this girl on tinder and went for a lunch date. We had a pretty good connection so we decided to have dinner as well. After having a few drinks one thing lead to another and ended up back at my place, we hooked up and went to sleep.
Middle the night I wake up. She’s intensely staring at me while she’s crouched behind the bed. I asked her if everything is alright, she said yes and got back into bed… I thought “little creepy, but probably nothing to worry about.” She lays down to cuddle with me and she’s wet. At the time, I was like “damn I must just be a stallion.” Fast forward to the morning, she’s gone and there’s a wet puddle beside the bed. she peed on my floor I still don’t understand it. I had a bathroom, but maybe she just got lost and couldn’t hold it? I did not hear from her again. Edit: Just want to be clear, we were both tipsy, and NOT sloppy drunk.”—GravyxNips
“This guy asked me if I would be interested in dating his dad.”—Geeseinfection
“Talked to him for two weeks before we went out and no red flags so we ended up going out to dinner. I said I hadn’t been out in a while because I was trying to save money for a washer and dryer. He told me instead of saving for that I should save for a boob job. I didn’t even know how to reply so he followed up with, “No it’s not a bad thing, my sister and Mom both had small tits and got boob jobs and they look amazing.” This is all before the waitress even brought our drinks. I just got up and left.”—yhcaepeachy
“Met up with a tinder girl at Dave and busters. She brought me there for a f—king pyramid scheme sign-up presentation. Guess I respect the hustle.”—Bstylee
“We were supposed to meet at nine p.m., he fell asleep and called me at 9:30 when I was already at the carnival. I told him not to bother coming as I didn’t want to see him. He asked for another chance and I agreed. Unfortunately, my dad got really ill and had to spend the next six weeks in the hospital with me visiting him daily. I had no time for dates and he got extremely mad. He made a fake Instagram account which he used to follow me and everybody that I followed. He then saw me in a friend’s Instagram story and showed up to the restaurant we were at. He called me a whore and a liar and we had to threaten to call the police because he would not leave.”—teeny_gecko
“First date, she wanted me to get into a bar fight with the perfectly friendly guy who’d bought us a round of shots that night. Why? Because she found out he was a Scorpio.”—Rockchakra
“Matched with my BFF’s fiance after the engagement party. Screenshots of everything and lost my bff because I don’t play that. I was uninvited to the wedding. Marriage lasted 18 months.”—amym2001
“Fresh off a breakup on campus, match with this really good looking girl who is talking pure filth. Obviously I’m just an idiot with a hurt heart so I don’t question much, head over to her place a few days later. She insisted I come over on a certain day at X:XX o’clock. Half an hour in, her husband came home. I was being used in revenge plot.”—SuperForm3G
“My worst tinder experience was pretty traumatizing for me at the time. I was a sophomore in college and she was a junior or senior at the same school. The first time we ever hung out, I went over to her apartment and we just watched some Netflix and hung out. Nothing crazy. I was thinking this chick is super cool, we may have something here. So I leave telling her I’d like to see her again if she’s down.
She told me she would love to and just hit her up whenever and we’ll make some plans. We start texting/snap chatting throughout the week and organize some plans for the following weekend. Out of nowhere, she starts sending me unsolicited nudes. Never once asked for them and when we were hanging out the weekend prior, there was no sexual activity at any level. We quite literally Netflix and chilled. It caught me off guard, but I was more than cool with it. I’m a young college guy and this hot older chick wants to send me nudes after only hanging out one time? Say less.”—tommysalami420