Kate Hackett
Could you imagine the chutzpah it would take to bill an ex-employee EIGHT CENTS?
A post from Reddit user u/Gordsnacks shows us exactly that.
“My former employer just sent me a bill for 8 cents that they were supposed to take out of my last check,” u/Gordsnacks wrote, “How do I make it as painful as possible for them to collect?”
This guy’s former employer accidentally overpaid by eight entire pennies on the last check and they wanted the money back, so Gordsnacks wanted to know how to have a little fun with this insane request.
Here are some of the best ideas:
1. Invoice forever
Send a cash payment for 1 cent. In a month or so when they send you an updated invoice for 7 cents, send another cash payment for 1 cent
2. Credit Card
Not cash. Credit card.
Credit cards charge a processing fee to the person getting the payment (usually a flat fee plus a percentage).
3. Installment plan
“I’m a little short on money currently, could I pay in installments?”
4. Details
Send them a request for an itemized statement showing the exact date, time, etc that they overpaid you and tell them they need to send you a pre paid envelope… Then send them 8 pennies
5. Send a new one
Every 20 days or so, call to tell them how sorry you were that you lost the statement, and can they please send a new one? If they try to tell you the amount so you can just pay it, insist you’d like to have it “for your records” before you pay. Hang up if they get hostile. Call back the next day as if it never happened.
6. SASE
Say you’ll pay but only if they send you a self-addressed and stamped envelope.
7. The effort!
Just don’t pay it and watch and see how much they spend to get you to pay it.
8. Processing fees
If you can, use the debit/credit. Then they are paying at least 2 bucks to process that payment. Plus billing you for 8 cents is petty in itself.
9. Big checks
Send them one of those giant novelty checks.
10. They gave up
I had this happen. no joke. 1996/1997 I was going to Virginia Tech. I got a debt letter from Blockbuster Video (yes that one) for 13 cents. I am not joking. I sat their dumbfounded for a bit wondering if it was a misprint did I own $13 ?
I called them. it was no joke. 13 cents. I said you realize the paper and envelope cost more than 13 cents. you realize the posted was around 3 times the debt they claimed I owed.
the printer machine time and labor probably 50 times 13 cents. She was kind of laughing with me on the phone she realized how stupid it was. 13 cents.
She said you want to pay it. I said. not on my life. this is too good. tell them to send me details on how exactly they determined I owed 13 cents. I want to see if they are stupid enough to spend another $10 or $15 to tell me I owe 13 cents 🙂
She got a chuckle out of that. I never heard from them again.
13 god damned cents…..
11. Heist film
Buy a nice briefcase at the thrift store (should run ya $15 ish). Put on a suit and sunglasses, and have a friend do the same (think “Agent Smith”). Place 8 pennies into the briefcase.
Go to your old company, and Have your friend walk you in like a body guard: opening doors for u, standing behind you wordlessly at all times, etc. Stride confidently into your old bosses office, place the case on their desk and open the briefcase wordlessly, showing the 8 pennies.
Simply say: “you can count it; it’s all there” like you’re in a heist movie, leave the case, and go back out the way you came in, with your bodyguard holding doors for you and scanning the space to ensure your safe exit from the drop zone.
Leave, and take your friend out for burgers. Have some beers or smoke a joint. Make a whole day of it!
12. Lose it
keep ‘misplacing’ it and request new copies.
13. Invoice them
Send them an invoice for 7 cents. The time you spent processing this request was worth 15 cents, so now they owe you.
Make sure to make it payable upon receipt too.
