Mike
The internet has always been a breeding ground for lively discussions and heated debates, and one platform that exemplifies this perfectly is Reddit. Known for its diverse user base and countless communities, Reddit has become a virtual hub where people from all walks of life share their opinions, experiences, and stories.
Among the vast sea of content, there are certain threads that manage to capture the attention of the masses, eliciting passionate responses and dividing the crowd almost evenly.
Today, we delve into the world of controversial Reddit stories that have left Redditors fiercely divided, with opinions evenly split down the middle. Brace yourself for a journey through some of the most contentious narratives that continue to captivate and challenge the online community.
1. Cousin Is Impersonating Her On Social Media
I (22F) have a cousin… (21F)… I never saw [her] very often growing up, maybe three times a year, up to five some years. This is in contrast to my other cousins who I saw very often and am very close with, but [she] isn’t really that close to any of us, and my aunt isn’t very close to her siblings either.
For context, my family is quite strict about social media. We have profiles, but when we were younger all our parents had the rule that we had to keep our social media profiles private, and there were certain things about our lifestyle that we weren’t allowed to post. If we did, there were varying degrees of “punishment” – normally you’d just get your bank cards restricted for a week. [My cousin] was the only one of us who never had this rule, and would frequently post things on family holidays that would get her in trouble with the other parents. Even though we don’t have that rule now, we all still keep to it to some degree (except [my cousin]).
Recently, I found out through one of my other cousins that [she] has social media accounts where she shares my pictures and videos and pretends that they’re hers, except this profile is public and has thousands of followers. I was upset about this because even though they were just videos of my partying or trave,l etc., I didn’t consent to any of it being viewed by strangers. In addition, I find it very weird that -my cousin] is screenshotting/recording my life to pretend it’s her own. I blocked the account that [she] used to follow me on all my social media profiles but didn’t say anything else about it.
Recently we were on a family ski trip (my aunt, her husband, and [my cousin] were not there). [My cousin] messaged the family group chat saying she couldn’t find my profile on IG and did I delete it. I replied in the group chat that I blocked her because I know she was stealing my content and using it to get followers on another account. All my cousins knew about the accounts but the parents didn’t, and both [my cousin] and her mother have been getting angry calls and messages from the whole family saying that what she did was dangerous and unhinged and that she needs professional help. My parents said that i[f] she didn’t take the profile down that they would get their lawyer involved, so she deleted the profiles. [My cousin] is now saying that I’ve ruined her relationships with everyone in the family, and potential work opportunities over a few videos of shopping and holidays. She said that since she didn’t use any content of me (she never used anything that showed my face) that it wasn’t a big deal and I shouldn’t have got her in trouble, but honestly I think what she did was creepy. My family is on my [s]ide but one of my cousins and a few of my friends said a lot of people steal content and while it’s weird, it’s not harmful, and that maybe I should have just left her blocked and not said anything else. – reddit
2. Daughter Dyed Her Hair And Refuses To Go To School Now
Can’t believe this is happening but here we go.
Daughter (14) has always been naturally blond; however, the last few months brown hair has been coming through her roots. She has asked us if she can dye it earlier this month. We said yes, but only if it’s done professionally – an appointment is booked for 8th February, very popular salon with good reputation, meaning long wait times, but if it’s being done it’s being done right. Reason for this is both her, her sister, and my wife have very sensitive scalps. Last time older daughter used an at-home kit it went badly wrong… doctors kind of wrong.
Youngest daughter was happy with this and agreed to wait, but this weekend went out with her friend and bought an at-home kit, dyeing her hair at her friend’s house without any adult assistance.
Well, now it’s orange.
We offered to buy a brown or black kit to cover it until her appointment, but she screamed she is a blond, not brunette, and hasn’t really left her room since.
She is refusing to go to school until WE “fix it.” I said I don’t have a magic hair fixing spell, and the choice is go dark for three weeks or put up with the orange color. We phoned the salon but they cannot move up the appointment, but will contact in case of a cancellation.
So Reddit, AITA for sending my daughter to school with self-inflicted orange hair?
Edit: To be clear as it’s been mentioned a few times, the brown/brunette option was a temporary color, not a permanent; it’d wash out in a few weeks anyway.
Edit 2: We have tried at other salons as well; however, they have similar wait times. One can fit us in earlier (25th January), but honestly their Google reviews are a very mixed bag – 2 stars out of 5 – so we’re not overly confident with that one.
Edit 3: Thanks for all the responses with advice. We won’t be dyeing it again and will try the purple/blue shampoo instead hoping to tone it down.
Also, wife just got off the phone with a salon who can get her in this Friday, so she’ll have to suck it up for the rest of the week! It’s going to cost us nearly twice as much as the normal salon, so guess who will be doing extra chores for a while…
Final edit: Wife sourced silver shampoo so [we] will be doing this shortly. Daughter emerged from her room. Apologizing to us for the tantrum, which we accepted, and apologizing for ruining her hair. We laughed, and said it’s her hair, not ours, so she should apologize to herself, so she grabbed a mirror, stroked her hair, and said a heartfelt sorry. So all seems to be right in the world again. – u/painful_butterflies
3. Sister In Law Tries To Get Their Children To Give Her Money
A little backstory first: my (48M) SIL (45F) moved in with my wife (47F), myself and our three kids(18M, 16F, 13M) a few months ago due to her being kicked out of her old place.
I have a job that pays me well and allows me to spoil my children, but they all know the value of a dollar; however, every week my wife and I give them $50 to spend on what they want as allowance and they can earn more by doing chores. My SIL has a job that gives her enough income for her to live comfortably and she’s supposed to be saving some to get a new pace while living with us.
Well, last week my SIL heard my eldest son talking to his mother and I about what chores he can do to earn $75 and she asked us if we actually gave our children that much money and that it was to[o] much money for children to have, and we told her they were our children; we could give them however much we see fit to give them.
I thought she dropped it but I was wrong. Last night my youngest son came to me and told me that his aunt had demanded he give her $40 from his money so she could go buy something. When he told her no she apparently started screaming at him that he was an ungrateful brat and tried to grab his wallet and take the money. Immediately I went to my two older children and asked them if she had ever asked or told them to give her money, to which my daughter responded that her aunt had asked her a couple weeks beforehand if she could have $50, and my son told me that she had asked but he always shut her down immediately, telling her he was saving for a car.
After hearing this I went to SIL and told her to get her stuff and get out of my house and that she was no longer allowed in it if she thinks it is okay to steal money from my kids, yell at my kids, and call them mean names. My wife thinks I went about it the wrong way but that was overall right… [H]er family thinks I was an AH for kicking her out and refusing to allow her in, and said that my children should’ve just given her the money because “family helps family.”
So AITA for telling my SIL she’s no longer allowed at my house when she told my children to give her money? – u/West-Cut-4126
4. Host Humiliates Friend To Make A Point About Culture
Hello Reddit, my friend group is divided on this and I was advised to make a post here.
Here’s some background information to the problem: I (25F) hosted dinner a few weeks ago at my place. Everyone was having fun and the topic of moving out and charging your adult children rent came up. I’m not American, and if I’m being honest I didn’t even know this was a common thing. I told my friends that in Brasil this would be looked down upon and that I didn’t know a single person who paid rent to their parents. I have three grown sisters who live “at home” and no one pays a cent. I finished my speech saying that it’s fine if they disagree with me, but I personally would never charge my children rent if I wasn’t struggling.
My friend… (27F) said that someone from a Third World country wouldn’t understand (?!?) and that my sisters shouldn’t freeload. I told her it wasn’t like that, my parents love to have them around and that it’s common, if not expected, to live with your parents until you get married/find a longtime partner. [My friend[ replied by saying that my culture is backwards. I tried to not get offended over her choice of words and said, “Agree to disagree.”
Back to the present: I hosted again last night and told my friends that my older sister is engaged. [My friend} proceeds to ask if she’s finally going to grow up now, or if mommy and daddy will pay rent for her elsewhere.
I was sick of her little comments (not the only thing she said this past week) and said that no, my sister is buying her own condo with my brother-in-law, and that maybe she could do the same soon if her parents didn’t charge her $1,000 plus utilities every month.
This erupted into a fight and dinner was cut short. Some of my friends think I should apologize to [her] to keep peace, but I don’t think I should.
Am I in the wrong here? – u/One_Eggplant_1080
5. Husband’s Parents Won’t Stop Calling Them By The Wrong Name
My name is Rynn. Just Rynn. Not Katherine. But ever since my ILs have met me, they have gotten the idea that my actual name is Katherine and Rynn is just a nickname. I have asked them not to introduce me or tell people it’s my name but they always go back to it. My husband and I took a small break from them when it continued and they apologized and seemed to be doing better. Then for my MIL’s birthday we were invited to celebrate with them, and a couple of her friends came up to me and asked if I was Katherine. They said MIL talked all about me. I decided to get a little bit jokey instead of annoyed and played up on it, saying MIL is so forgetful and that I was so sorry she told them the wrong name. That I’ll need to write my name on everything she owns so they don’t forget. Her friends found it funny but told her it was weird that she gave them the wrong name. She and FIL came up to me close to the end of the party and I told them to stop telling people my name is Katherine and they need to accept that my name isn’t up to them.
They claim I was rude and that it was awful for me to try and embarrass them in front of their friends (by joking with MIL’s friends). My husband told them they should have listened. But they are saying I took it too far and maybe I did. – u/Illustrious_Bit_178
6. They Didn’t Invite Their Sister On A Trip To Disney World
I (F33) am planning a trip to Disney World with my 9-year-old daughter. As a single mom I’ve saved for this trip for years. My daughter adores all things Disney and [I] want to give her at least one vacation that she can remember fondly. I scrimped and saved for this; it’s a long time coming, but the look on her face when I told her we’re going to Disney made it worth it.
My sister (F28) and I were close before I had my daughter. My sister is aggressively child-free to the point where she wouldn’t even watch my daughter so I could shower because, “I have no obligation to provide free babysitting,” which has caused a strain in our relationship. Even little things like Christmas gifts/birthday presents she refuses to do since… my “spawn” isn’t her responsibility (her words, not mine).
I had to take my daughter with me to the ER back in 2020 because my sister refused to watch my daughter when my appendix ruptured (I had exhausted all other options). I’ve been distancing myself from my sister since, but somehow she caught wind of the Disney trip.
My sister is a self-proclaimed Disney addict. Ever since she started working a “real” job she’s been going on expensive trips to the parks. I even think she’s an annual pass holder despite living in Chicago. Regardless, ever since she heard about the trip she’s been asking to go, saying that it’ll be a fun bonding experience for “all us girls.” I’ve been telling her no because she hates my daughter and I don’t want her to ruin the trip. My mom thinks this is my sister trying to extend an olive branch and I should take it but I don’t know. AITA for not inviting my sister on this trip? – u/sorrymissjackson33
7. High-Fived A Girl Who ‘Embarrassed’ Their Boyfriend
My bf and I go to the climbing gym regularly. He is really into it, and I just started and climbing a few times a week. He’s stupidly competitive about it and quietly insults beginners who are not as good, which makes me feel self-conscious because I’m a beginner.
Last night we were at the climbing gym again and he was doing a V6. There was about six people taking turns on the problem, probably because it’s a newly installed route and they were all failing. Then a girl came and flashed it. She made it so easy, but at the end she didn’t hold the final hold for five seconds and my bf called her out after she was done. Holding the last hold for five seconds is suppose[d] to be the “right way” of finishing a route, but she was doing it so easily she definitely could have. I think he was just being salty because she did it when he couldn’t. She laughed and told him he didn’t even start the problem correctly and walked off. I gave her a high five because she was walking towards me and did amazing at the problem (and knocked my bf off his high horse), and she was surprised but high-fived me.
My bf turned to me and gave me a wtf look and wouldn’t talk to me the rest of the night. When we were heading home he ranted that I couldn’t be trusted to watch his back if I chose to take a stranger’s side over him. I was shocked that’s what he took from the climb and told him she shouldn’t have nitpicked her when she clearly climbed it correctly, and he got mad and argued I was suppose to take his side over people I don’t even know. – u/djru183
8. Kicked Out Her Bridesmaid For Showing Up In The Wrong Dress
My (23F) wedding was back on… December 31 and I’m still getting backlash from this, so I want to know if this was an AH move.
In the country I live in it’s currently winter, and we get a fair amount of snow, so my wedding was a winter-themed wedding. The color theme was forest green and gold. My dress was obviously white, and I chose the color of my bridesmaids’ dresses to be forest green as well. My MOH’s dress was black, and everyone was to wear gold accessories.
I have this friend, we’ll call her Kat, that I asked to be one of my bridesmaids. When we went dress shopping and I told them the color theme I was going for, Kat immediately expressed that she thought forest green was a bad choice.
She said the thinks it’s not a flattering color, and thought I should choose something different and more “girly.” I said no because my wedding was winter-themed and I thought the color would go perfect with the theme. She suggested a pink, blue, even a red. I said no, but thanks for your opinion. She found out my MOH’s dress was black and asked if she could wear black too? I said no, only my MOH is wearing black.
I paid for all the dresses.
Fast forward to wedding day. Everyone’s getting their hair and makeup done and Kat shows up 30 minutes late holding a bag that looked like it had a dress inside. I asked her what this was for? She told me it was for later on at the reception if she got uncomfortable and wanted to change after pictures. I was like okay, cool.
So fast forward we’re all dressed and walking down the stairs because the ceremony is beginning in 30 mins and we were going to take some pictures before. Kat is the last person to come down and she’s wearing a BLACK DRESS. At the time I was preoccupied taking pictures with my parents, but my MOH came over to me and made me aware of the situation.
I confronted Kat and asked her what was going on. She said she hates her bridesmaid dress, as the color is ugly and makes her look gross so she’s wearing black. I told her please go back and change. She refused and started walking away from me. I said I’m going to ask her one more time, and if she doesn’t oblige I’m calling security and kicking her out. She began yelling at me to f*** off, so I called security and asked them to please escort her out. She started making a BIG scene yelling how I’m such a b****, that I can’t force her to wear anything and that I’m a horrible inconsiderate friend.
The wedding went on and it was truly amazing.
Ever since the wedding Kat has been blowing up my phone with texts saying some really nasty things and asking for the money back she spent on the black dress, since it was a waste and she didn’t get to wear it. I had to block her number. Some of my other bridesmaids have been giving me s*** saying that it was a little harsh kicking her out and embarrassing her like that. And that maybe I should give her the money back. AITA for kicking her out? – u/bridezillaxoxo
9. Ate A Whole Plate Of Nachos That Their Friend Ordered While Running Late
Last night we planned on meeting for Mexican food to celebrate a friend’s birthday.
I was the first to arrive, maybe 15 minutes early. I collected our reservation and was [seated]. I ordered my drink and just chips and salsa while I waited. Maybe 10 minutes later the server (who was staggeringly good-looking as an aside) brought over a plate of nachos. I told him I did not order them. He said, “Your friend… called and said she was running very late and wanted you to get started.” I said cool. I started snacking.
Pretty soon this massive text wall started how everyone was running late – at least an hour. I told everyone I was okay and was happy to wait since I was enjoying chatting with the server and was getting up the nerve to ask him if he had a girlfriend. I continued to snack on the nachos.
After an hour people started to show up and nachos were gone. [My friend] got there last and asked what happened to the nachos. I very casually said I ate them. She looked at me in shock and said, “Those were for the table, they were $35.” I said I was sorry but they were getting cold and I was the only one there and I said thank you and I would pay for them. She said she already put them on her credit card when she called. I said I would gladly buy her drinks. Then… “Well, I can’t drink, I’m pregnant and this isn’t how I wanted to announce it.” The pregnancy announcement changed the subject.
When it came time to order I said I was stuffed and didn’t want an entree. [My friend] got really upset again and said she wasn’t going to sit here and take this and got up walked out. I was in shock because I felt like even I shouldn’t have eaten the nachos. I did try to make up for it.
[My friend] went on a tirade in the text while the rest of us were trying to eat. The consensus at the table was she wasn’t feeling good and I should just ignore her, so I did.
I’ve tossed and turned over this all night because I made my friend mad. was I the a**hole? – u/Iatenachovarga
10. Wouldn’t Make Her Brother And His Fiancee A Cake After They Refused To Pay Her
I (25F) love to bake. It’s a big passion of mine and something I love to do as a hobby in my free time. I have an Instagram account that I use to show off my work, which is mainly the cakes I bake and decorate. I make these cakes for family and friends for birthdays or special occasions (Christmas, Easter, etc.).
I never charge for these cakes, but am always compensated in some way by my family and friends. They’ll usually gift me money or a gift card to my favorite restaurants, or make me a dish in return as a thank you.
My younger brother (23M) and his fiancee (23F) were planning their wedding and asked me a few months in advance if I’d be able to make their cake for them? This would be my biggest order yet. They wanted a three-layer cake (wedding was 75 people), in the flavor of strawberry shortcake as it’s their favorite.
I was hesitant at first but agreed to make the cake, under the condition that I was compensated for it. I explained to them that this was the biggest order I’ve never had, and was going to take up a lot of my time, labor, and be costly. I gave them a VERY fair price for a cake of that caliber. They agreed. I also made it clear that I wanted to be paid before the wedding.
I provided them multiple sketches of what the cake would look like. Made a practice batch of the actual cake so that they could sample, and they loved the cake and approved of everything. Fast forward to last week, six days before the wedding. I contacted my brother for my payment as I was going to get started on buying the rest of the ingredients for the cake (minus the strawberries; I was going to do that closer to the date so they could be fresh).
He insured me he’d drop off my cheque the next day. Next day came, brother went MIA and no cheque arrived, so I tried to contact him again. Next day came, no cheque again. I offered to drive to their house and pick up the cheque; they made an excuse that i[t] didn’t work with their schedules.
So the day before the wedding I contacted both my brother and his fiancee asking again. They blew up on me telling me that I’m a selfish b*tch for charging them when I don’t charge the rest of the family and that they refused to pay, but demanded me to make to cake. I said no, and explained my terms again.
They called me a selfish AH and said I better make the damn cake. I again said no. So the day of the wedding I decided not to attend, due to the amount of disrespect they showed me. Well my brother, his fiancee, and her family are now BLOWING up my phone sending me all kinds of nasty messages. My family are trying to stay out of it, but don’t think I should’ve screwed them like that. AITA for not making the cake after they refused to pay me?
INFO: I was charging them $400. – u/ilovebaking22
11. They Refused To Drop Their Ex-Husband’s Last Name
My ex-husband (who I’ll call him by his fake name Tony) and I broke up two years ago after 26 years of marriage. We have four children together.
Due to the stupidity of the time and social pressure, I added my husband’s last name to my name. So all my documents like identification, driver’s license, passport, all credit cards, voter registration card have his last name at the end.
We ended amicably, even more due to the circumstances (he is gay) ,and we divorced.
Honestly, it would suck to have to change everything, go to government agencies, pay for everything new, go to the bank to change everything, so I didn’t want to take out his last name, but I introduce myself by my maiden name, only in the documents is it this name.
Tony is currently engaged to a guy and they are going to get married in the next year.
The situation that happened was:
Our son and his family decided to travel and invited me. He asked for my ID to make the reservations.
A few days later, me, Tony and fiance were at my grandson’s party. Our son said jokingly in the conversation circle that he couldn’t believe that until today I hadn’t changed my last name. I laughed, saying that I was too lazy to rush to change everything that has this name on it.
Tony started to ask if I really hadn’t changed my name, if I didn’t think that being engaged to someone else isn’t the best time to change it, and he insisted that it was weird of me.
I just replied: “Unless you can go in my place, spend hours and hours in lines, pay hundreds for it, I won’t do it in the near future”.
We stopped talking and the party flowed smoothly.
Later, he called me and said I was acting weird and a jerk by refusing to change the name, which he said was uncomfortable.
I asked our son and he said he understands my side of not wanting to do this, but he understands Tony’s side of being uncomfortable with his ex using his last name after the divorce.
So I ask for an outside opinion.
AITA?
I don’t intend to never change, I just don’t want to go through it right now. – u/TAlastname
12. Wife Got Upset That They Pulled Over For A Funeral Procession
My wife and I went back to my hometown to visit my family this week. Where I grew up is across the country and much more rural than where we live currently and where my wife grew up. We decided to go see a play in a nearby city that my wife has been wanting to see and we were running a little late because she didn’t get ready on time and we’re in a rush.
A few minutes into the drive, I saw a funeral procession coming down the road towards us so I pulled over and put my hazards on. My wife then asks me what I’m doing? I tell her that a funeral procession is passing by so I have to pull over. She asks why and says that it isn’t against the law to keep driving. I say that I know it isn’t against the law, but it is a sign of respect that I’ve always been taught to do. She then starts to get irritated and says that if we sit and wait for them to pass, then we are going to miss the show and they won’t let us in. I said that maybe it is just a cultural difference, and I am truly sorry if we miss the play, but this is something I feel strongly about and I’m not going to move until they have passed. My wife then gets even angrier and says she doesn’t understand why I have to act this way.
I then tried to explain myself as best as I could. I told her that some of those people in that line are currently having the worst day of their life. They are on their way to say goodbye forever to someone they love. Having been there before, it can be infuriating watching the world continue to go on as normal as your life is being shattered. Why isn’t the rest of the world mourning a beautiful life being taken away. In that short ride between the funeral and the grave, our local culture acknowledges this unfairness. I pointed at the cars behind us and said that each of those people have places they need to be as well. By stopping, we are saying to the grieving, “We may not have known the deceased, but we will acknowledge both them and your grief by putting our lives on hold for 5-10 minutes while you pass.” I have been in that line before and this simple act by others meant a lot to me.
My wife just argued that I was putting the feelings of complete strangers over her, and I knew how much she wanted to see this play and I was taking that away from her for people I don’t even know. I stood my ground and didn’t move. By the time it had passed, there was no chance we would make the play so we went home. My wife is still angry at me and wants me to apologize, which I did for her having missed something she was looking forward to, but said I would still do it again.
TL;DR: I made us miss a play because I pulled over for a funeral procession.
Edit: I honestly never expected to wake up to this many comments. While I am fully ready to accept my judgment, I would just like to say that I did not do this to “teach my wife a lesson” as a lot of people seem to think. This is something that I have always done as well as everyone I know from my town.
Edit 2: I’ve read through pretty much all of the comments and this really seems to be a matter of cultural differences. Everyone is free to their own opinions of course, but it is a little hurtful to read all the comments saying that I just did this out of spite. It may be unbelievable to some, but this practice is followed by practically everyone where I’m from. I’ve on occasion been late to different things in my life due to it, and all I’ve ever had to say is, “Sorry I stopped for a funeral procession,” and everyone immediately understood. If you want to call me an a**hole anyway, I won’t argue. I just don’t want judgment passed based on motives prescribed to me that simply are not true. – u/No_Picture2914
13. Bothered Another Parent At Their Son’s Sleepover About A Stuffed Animal
My son (4) had a sleepover last night with a friend. This friend’s parents were doing my wife and I a huge favor, because my wife’s father had surgery yesterday, and we needed to be there and didn’t get home until after midnight. So yes, this story begins with us already in debt to them. Anyway, at naptime today my son started freaking out because he couldn’t find sleepy Dumbo (his stuffed animal) and he cannot sleep without sleepy Dumbo.
I remembered that when I picked him up I didn’t see sleepy Dumbo. So I text the mom and dad of the friend. I get no response. My wife is a wreck, so I’m not bothering her with this, but my son is freaking out. So I tell him we will get in the car and go get sleepy Dumbo and he slightly calmed down. So we drive over and I try to call them both on the way.
When we get there, I knock, and we wait a bit with no answer. At this point my son starts freaking out more because he is afraid something happened to sleepy Dumbo. I try to reassure him, but he starts crying. I knock again, and the wife of the couple answers. She says she is working and asks what I want. I explain about sleepy Dumbo.
She again says she is working, and she says she doesn’t have time to look for Dumbo and tells us to come back later. My son starts freaking out more. I ask if we can look. She says she needs to focus. I promise to be fast. She lets me in.
We get to his friend’s room, sleepy Dumbo is on the bed. My son gets him, and I hustle us out. I thank the mom, but she is glaring at me. On the way home he hugs sleepy Dumbo the whole time. I remind him to be more careful with sleepy Dumbo in the future, and at home nap time commences peacefully.
About an hour ago my wife and I both got this text. I’m going to copy paste it:
{Me} and {my wife} I really don’t appreciate the way {me} barged into my house earlier today while I was working. I know you both have a lot going on right now but the world doesn’t revolve around you. {Her husband} and I agreed to do you a favor but that doesn’t mean you get to just walk all over us. In the future if you call and we don’t answer that means it isn’t a good time to come over.
I felt very embarrassed and guilty after reading that. My wife, however, is furious. She called the wife of the other couple some indelicate names. I am really grateful to them for agreeing to babysit for us, and I accept that I am to blame for forgetting sleepy Dumbo the first time. I don’t know if asking to come in and get him is quite as big a deal as she’s making it out though, and my wife is pissed. I don’t know how much of that is misplaced fear for her dad though. Am I an a**hole, or was this just an unfortunate situation? – u/GottaHaveSleepyDumbo
14. Prioritized Their Parrot Over Their Stepdaughter’s Wedding
So I’m the owner of a wonderful rescued macaw. She is a wonderful bird but has a lot of issues due to an abusive former home. I’ve had her for three years and since then haven’t taken any vacations or trips away as it would be too disruptive for her. She distrusts everyone and is very reliant on her routine. I love her deeply and I’m happy to make sacrifices for her. They are permanent toddlers and very intelligent birds.
I met my husband by the time his kids were older; my stepdaughter was 16 at the time. We married when she moved away for college. Nevertheless I thought we’d managed to have a decent relationship, until now… my stepdaughter is getting married in March, and naturally there’s a lot of preparation involved. They’re wanting a huge traditional wedding and she is stressed out of her mind. They live out of state, and she invited me recently to come visit her for a week to help make wedding plans and spend time with their 2-year-old. I declined and she insisted to know why, acting very hurt, and I explained the parrot… Well it all went downhill from there.
She caused a massive fuss with her dad, saying she never got a mother figure and I never accepted her as my full blood daughter and this is the ultimate snub for a silly animal. That I’m cold and emotionless… I feel really hurt and I can tell he agrees with her even though he’s refusing to take sides. But I don’t see why I should be expected to take holiday time off work to babysit and “bond” all of a sudden and I don’t see how I’m a monster for this… am I the a**hole here?
Edit: context of our relationship, we don’t usually talk at all and she hasn’t visited home in four years.
Edit 2: Beginning to think it was maybe a mistake posting this. Mostly because this is a real and nuanced situation and Reddit is no place for nuance, and maybe personal relationships shouldn’t be judged in the AH context in the first place. But also because I should be more understanding and a bigger person regardless of who is or isn’t the a**hole. Life is too short to be… offended.
I called my stepdaughter and told her that I understand this is a big moment in her life and she wants someone there to help and support her, and that I’m still willing to help her in any way I can to plan the wedding via Zoom and virtually. We talked a bit and I asked her why she hadn’t accepted me reaching out in the past, and she apologized and said she didn’t want to accept someone as a stand-in, “fake” replacement for her bio mom, but now she regrets it and would like a closer relationship, especially seeing how close her SO is with his mom. We ended the conversation positively and I’m hoping things can improve going forward. I told her I’m a crazy bird lady and asked her if she still wants a relationship knowing that, and she said that after the wedding she’s willing to travel to visit us if we have room… which we do. I’ll leave this post up but I’m happy either way and I’m glad the feedback here motivated me to make the call. – u/macawww345
15. Father Wants To Be Paid For Babysitting His Own Daughter
My (39M) wife (34F) and I live in at a suburban house with our daughter (10F…). Our neighbour next door (48M…) is a single father with two daughters (14F and 12F). We have been living here for a little more than two years.
My wife really likes watching scary movies, but I have never enjoy them. I get too scared and end up having a bad time, so I prefer to avoid them. Her friends sometimes go with her to the more popular ones but she also likes older, indies, and foreign horror movies. She has always had a hard time finding people that have this niche interest and that is why it was such a big deal when we met [our neighbor] and found out he also shares this tendency. They very quickly started to make plans to watch movies together. I was invited to be a part of this but refused.
I prefer to just stay at home babysitting [my daughter] and [our neighbor’s] daughter while they are in their cinephile reunions. Sometimes they go to movie theaters but other times they just stay at [his] place watching stuff at his home cinema. They usually have to go to another town in order to catch a specific function of some weird movie so it is normal for them to come back very late.
They eventually started doing stuff outside of watching movies, like going out for dinner. [Our neighbor] invited all of us, including the kids, to go with him to a restaurant that a friend of hi[s] owned, but I said no because it was too expensive. I don’t like [those] kind of places because I feel they are a waste of money and didn’t think the kids would enjoy it either. I insisted on staying with the kids and let the two of them go be themselves. This has became a regular thing and it is in a way a good deal for me because [our neighbor] pays for my wife’s dinner and she [can] no longer complain about me not taking her to fancy restaurants.
As both their movie and dinner nights had became so common, I have grown a little tired of the burden of constantly babysitting the girls. I talk[ed] to my wife and [neighbor] about it, and he explained that he usually does not like leaving his daughters with babysitters. He says he is really comfortable knowing that they are being watched by an experienced father like me instead of some teenage girl. He nevertheless agreed that it was too much of a load for me and offered to start paying me a standard babysitter fee each time he goes out with my wife.
I thought that was a fair approach to the issue, but my wife was fully against it. She says I should not be paid for babysitting my own daughter nor the daughters of a close friend of our family… We have been arguing about this, but she insists on this notion and it not open to change. She even gets mad every time I talk to her about this. [Our neighbor] promised me that he will convince her, but he does not seem to have been able to do so either.
Am I the A**hole? – u/AliveLeg61
