This story starts off with a little bit of heartache, so brace yourself for a pretty rapid judgment. Accepting and loving a child is your ONE JOB as a parent (well, okay, feeding/clothing/etc. but like – loving that kid is your big one!) and when parents fail to do that, it really breaks my heart.
Poor u/madetheirbed_aita had to go to AITA to find out if she was wrong for rejecting parents who rejected her. Let’s take a look.
OP was disowned by her family when she came out. Her parents kicked her out and told her to lie in the bed she made.
I (29f) was pretty much disowned by my entire family when I came out at 18. My parents gave me five minutes to grab my things before shutting me outside. I remember telling them that there was no way I could live on my own, that I was their kid and they should want to love and support me. My father told me that I made this bed myself by “choosing” my lifestyle, so I should grow up and learn to lay in it.
OP did just fine; she got into college, graduated, and married a woman she met there. They have a daughter, bought a home, and things are great!
I turned out pretty okay all things considered. I was able to go to college on a few scholarships and not too many loans. I met my wife during our freshman year and I’ve been with her ever since. We have a 2yo daughter who is the most precious little person in the world, we bought a house, and we both have decent paying jobs. I consider myself to be incredibly lucky and I can’t imagine my life without my wife and our daughter.
OP didn’t keep in touch with her parents, but eventually her parents reached out. They were struggling for money and needed help.
I don’t keep in touch with my bio family, so I don’t know how my parents got my contact info but they did. My mom sent me a message detailing the financial issues they were going through. They had to sell the house I grew up in and they moved to some apartments. At the end of the message, my mom asked me if I’d be willing to help them out for a little while by letting them stay with me.
Absolutely not, right? Right. OP just ignored the message and was fine until she accidentally picked up a phone call from her dad. She listened to the same pitch and said — nope.
I didn’t respond to the message, I just planned on pretending like I never saw it, but then I got a call the other day and as soon as I answered it, I realized my dad was on the other line. He told me the same thing my mom did and that they needed help. I said “that really sucks, I hope you figure it out.”
She doubled down when her dad asked again, citing their own lack of support.
He then flat out asked if I was seriously not going to provide them with any assistance. I asked why he wanted my help and he told me that I should want to support my parents the way they supported me growing up.
She threw his words back at him, saying they can lay in the bed they made. Eventually, he left a voicemail saying she was cruel. So OP is wondering — is it?
I replied saying that maybe if their “support” of me hadn’t ended the moment I told them I was a lesbian, I’d be willing to help them, but unfortunately they made their bed themselves so they can lay in it too. I hung up on him and later he left a voicemail calling me selfish and cruel for using their financial struggles to prove a point.
Maybe it is cruel. I don’t know.
She eventually gave her mom a few tools and then blocked their numbers.
Edit: I sent my mom an email with a bunch of links to soup kitchens, food pantries, housing assistance, etc. and then I blocked both her and my dad. I might change my number if they try calling again but for now I’m gonna leave it as is.
Ugh, poor OP. Reddit was pretty much entirely on her side.
“Normally I take the route of temperance and advocate taking the high ground. But not this time. Big NTA. If they let bigotry abandon their daughter then they deserve to no longer have a daughter. They don’t get to pick you back up as their child when they need help, they made it clear that you were on your own, so that works both ways,” said one user.
