Emily Duprie
A father’s approval is something most sons long for. Children want to make their fathers proud, and an involved father promotes inner growth and strength. Studies have shown that when fathers are affectionate and supportive, it greatly affects a child’s cognitive and social development. It also instills an overall sense of well-being and self confidence. Sometimes, fathers do the best they can and their son will still turn out to be an irresponsible a-hole.
In a recent scenario, one father had to tell his son to his face he was most certainly not proud of him after the way he had been neglecting his young daughter for practically her entire life. Feeling slightly guilty from the situation, Redditor u/Cruel-Father came to the “Am I The A-hole?” subreddit community to find out if he was wrong for telling his son that he was not all that and a bag of chips.
Read the story in full below and check out some of the top comments!
“It is devastating for her, because her daddy is her hero, and he does not want to spend time with her.”
OP asked: “AITA For being honest with my son that I am not proud of him?”
My wife, Nina, and I became pregnant with our son, Jason, when we were both twenty. We will admit it was an unplanned pregnancy, but we loved our son and kept him. We did our best to raise Jason to be kind, respectful, and treat others well, and we thought we succeeded. Jason worked hard to attend an elite university. Jason and his first wife, Sara, had a daughter, Simone.
Unfortunately, Sara passed in a car accident before Simone’s third birthday. Jason raised Simone until Simone was four. At that time, he met his second wife and moved two hours away. Simone lives with us. Jason visits once every two months at best. He and his wife would stay for the day, buy Simone a present, then Jason would say it was time to leave. Nina and I suspect he only visits and buys Simone the present because his wife makes him.
Perhaps Jason can’t bare to see his late wife’s face in his own daughters and that’s why he can’t visit her…or maybe he’s just a d*ck. OP continues…
His wife, Iris is a lovely lady; She insists that Simone should move in with them or they should move closer to us because she wants to be Simone’s stepmom and spend time with her. But Jason shots the idea down because he says Simone moving in or them moving would hurt his career and it is best Simone stay with Nina and me.
Simone is eleven now, and she adores Jason. She makes drawings and cards for him, constantly bakes treats to send to him. It is devastating for her, because her daddy is her hero, and he does not want to spend time with her. Her birthday was in July and she cried when Jason did not call her to wish her a happy birthday. Iris tried lying to Simone to make her feel better that the phone lines went down and Jason did not forget, but Simone did not believe her.
Nope, Jason just sucks.
Simone is at summer camp all this week, and Jason invited us to a party to celebrate receiving a promotion. During the party, Jason told me about how much more money he makes with this promotion and his job title and he asked “You should be proud, old man. (Job Title) and an (elite university) alumni.” I sighed and told Jason that I honestly have not been proud of him as of late. He may have a well-paying job, but he treats his own beautiful daughter as if she doesn’t matter. Simone is his own little girl. She loves him so much, and he doesn’t even seem to care. Nina came back with drinks and Jason told her what I said. Nina told him that she agreed with me and he does not treat Simone right.
Dad was in the right to remind his son that life isn’t just about status and money. He went on to explain why he thought he may have handled the situation wrong
Most of the family says that I and Nina were in the wrong to tell Jason I was not proud of him. They said I should know how much that statement hurts at any age because I was never good enough in my own father’s eyes. They said that Jason is probably focusing on stabilizing his career and Simone can move in with them after. They also said Jason’s own promotional party was not the time or place to call him out and I could have just congratulated Jason on working hard and saved the drama for another day. I feel what I said needed to be said. But most of the family is disagreeing with Nina and me. AITA?
As many people have asked, Jason does pay for child support. He believes because he pays child support that his responsibilities have been met. Jason told us he was attending therapy in the beginning, but we learned later he was being untruthful about it. Simone sees a child psychologist, but she seems to talk to the psychologist more about school and friends rather than Jason.
Many of the comments have also suggested that Simone could resemble Sara and cause too many bad memories for Jason. That could be possible, but Simone also does not resemble Sara at all. Simone looks like a young version of Nina with lighter skin and slightly thicker hair. The issue seems to be that Jason does not want to be a parent to Simone.
Some of the top comments had a lot to say towards Jason and his immaturity:
What would you have done if you were in OP’s shoes? Let us know!
